Creating Natasha

Weekend in photos

2011-04-25T07:46:00.000-06:00

Finished studying for my final.

Bought my books for next semester.

Arrived home from my final to flowers from Handsome.

Spent Friday cleaning the pantry. Apparently I buy two of everything!

I love putting things in jars.

Went and saw Hanna.

Used my newly organized pantry to bake some delicious (and deliciously easy) herb bread.

Must-Read Blogs

2011-04-21T06:13:00.000-06:00

I'm knee-deep in microeconomics notes at the moment, so today's post will be short and sweet.

I've been making an attempt to find blogs that are inspiring and will help keep me focused on my goal. I've found some amazing ones that I feel need to be shared. In no particular order:

Then Heather Said – soul searchingly good. She is brutally honest, funny and my new girl crush. I get wickedly excited when I see a new post of hers pop up into my Google Reader.

Healthy Dreaming – inspiration and food. When I read her tag line, “Progress not Perfection”, I fell in love with her blog. This was before I saw all the yummy recipes she had posted! She definitely has an old soul and her posts are insightful and inspiring.

Nutmeg Notebook – beautiful food. That's all that really needs to be said about her blog. I wish I could take food pictures the way she does. Plus, she introduced me to quinoa.

The Daily Garnish – adorable fun. I think, in person, her adorableness might push me over the edge, but I love reading her daily insights and stories make me smile. She also has great advice and recipes.

Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit – the dark side of weight loss, with a touch of hilarity. I'm sure many of you already know this one, but it's worth checking out anyway. This blog makes me laugh out loud more often than not. Laughing is good for ab muscles, didn't you know?

Alright, back to the world of oligopoly (the market structure, not the sea creature).

Happy reading!

Dating advice needed!

2011-04-20T05:09:00.000-06:00

I decided recently that 'love' is going to be a verb in my marriage. Tom and I have pledged to show each other that we love each other, not just say it. In fact, I would prefer if we only said "I love you" every once in awhile as opposed to daily.

In the spirit of making love a verb, I’ve decided that Tom and I should date again. However, we’ve been married for 5 years and I think I’m out of practice. I’m stumped for ideas beyond dinner and a movie.

I’m hoping that I might be able to elicit some suggestions for date ideas from the lovely people who read my blog. In other words, please please please help! We have a date night coming up and, so far, I’ve come up with bubkis! Nada. Zilch.

Help!

No Excuses Allowed

2011-04-19T06:17:00.001-06:00

I have my microeconomics final coming up in 3 days and over the weekend I spent 10 hours working on my final project for my communications course. I find both of these events tiring. I didn't want to exercise on Sunday and I thought about picking up take-out for the next few days so I could spend more time studying. I also thought about skipping exercise for the next couple of days.

Then I realized: there will always be an excuse. There will always be something to distract me from my long-term goals. There will always be something more pressing in the short term. However, I need to focus on the long term and manage the short term.

Yesterday I took a couple of hours and prepared some make-ahead meals (casseroles mostly) so I wouldn't have to worry about cooking this week. A couple of hours will probably save me from overeating.

There will always be an excuse, but that doesn't mean it should interfere with the goals that are most important to me.

I made a promise that I will not let the short term interfere with my long term.

Frumpy to Foxy - Making Myself a Priority

2011-04-18T05:35:00.000-06:00

Ever look in the mirror and think someone scary is standing behind you only to realize that’s you? I had that exact experience recently. I looked in the mirror and the person looking back at me looked like they had given up. My hair was frizzy, my makeup was an afterthought and my clothes were picked by what wasn't on the floor. Not a pretty sight.

Later that day I found myself looking through some of my old posts. While reading them I uncovered the memory of a more vibrant version of myself. It occurred to me that I had ‘let myself go’ - and not just in the weight sense. Sure, I had gained back all of the weight I lost, plus 10 pounds (to really punish myself) but I had also stopped taking care of outward appearance. This isn’t to say that I stopped showering, but I haven't spent more time grooming than what was necessary. At that moment I decided that I needed to change and I began putting more emphasis on taking care of myself. And making myself a priority.

I have mentioned before that being sexually attractive to my husband was one of my reasons for wanting to get healthier. But, I’ve noticed that he’s a lot more ‘into me’ since I started putting more effort into getting gussied up on a daily basis. The other day, I was asking his opinion on a sexy shirt I had bought and the next thing I knew we were naked in bed! (Oh my, by the way.) Obviously, most of the issue had nothing to do with my weight whatsoever.

On some level I think that I was punishing myself for losing focus. I felt I didn’t deserve to have new clothes, get my hair styled or be found attractive because I had gained the weight back. The lovely Natasha left me a comment the other day on how she puts off things until she’s “slimmer” and I feel that’s what I was doing too - I wasn’t going to put effort into myself until I was slimmer. Gosh darnit, I deserve to look my best regardless what size I am! It’s not something I need to earn. Just because I’m obese doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to feel good!

So, I went and got my hair cut. I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.

Before

After

You should see the pep in my step!

Breaking up with my TV

2011-04-17T05:00:00.005-06:00

I think I have to break up with my TV. It’s nothing personal, but I feel like it’s become a dysfunctional relationship.

Case in point, last night I had a list of items I wanted to accomplish:

Put away clothes
Clean bathroom
Unload/load dishwasher
Pick out my work clothes for the next day
Pack my lunch

Once everything on my list was crossed off I sat down with the intention of watching *one* episode of The Model Agency.

I ended up watching four episode.

Dun dun dun.

It was this horrible cycle where an episode would end and I would just pick up the remote and turn on the next episode (I have a PVR). In a blink of an eye, 9pm became 11:30pm - and I should have been in bed at 10pm (I have been getting up at 5am recently).

Frig.

I had full control over control to bed, but I chose not to turn the TV off. So, I have to break off my relationship with the ‘idiot box’. My intention is to do an experiment where I evaluate not watching any TV until the beginning of next month and see how I feel about it.

I miss Top Chef already. Le sigh.

"I worry about the strangest things," or "random musings of a nutcase"

2011-04-16T05:00:00.001-06:00

While I was washing out my coffee cup at work I felt a little wedgie and worried the seat of my pants was stuffed between my bum cheeks and imagined my coworkers standing behind me in horror.

I debated not eating my carrots while driving because I didn’t want strangers to think I was eating cheesies.

I think people stare at my hair wispies that defy every hair spray I’ve ever owned.

I secretly wonder if people keep track of what I wear and gossip about me wearing the same outfit twice in a week.

Whenever I'm somewhere and there's no visible people around I always think I'm going to get attacked by zombies.

I have thoughts that my belly button smells.

When a picture of me is mirror imaged on the computer I don't think I look as good.

I feel like animals stare at me. Especially birds and cows. Sometimes goats.

When I eat Becel I think I can taste chemicals

How I learned kwuh-noah is actually quinoa

2011-04-15T05:56:00.000-06:00

I have to admit that I’ve never consumed quinoa. And let’s pretend that I never pronounced it Kwuh-Noah for the longest time.

Quinoa first came to my attention when I started working at my current job. Despite eating copious amounts of candy, my colleagues are fairly health conscious, making quinoa a staple when ordering lunch. After months of being curious I have decided to make the leap and decided to try it. We’re also ignore the fact that I had to ask a girl at work where to find it in the grocery store. I felt like a food luddite. A fuddite?

Feeling all proud, I pranced into my favourite grocery store and sashayed to the bulk food section with a sense of anticipation that can only come from trying something new. My husband was out of town, which gave me free rein to cook whatever I wanted for dinner without him sniffing it and looking at me pleadingly for beef. Everything was coming up 'Natasha'!

I must confess that I get a smug satisfaction whenever I shop for organic foods. It’s somewhat hilarious given I don’t always agree with eating wholly organic, and yet there it is: a feeling of superiority. It’s ridiculous, and yet it happens each and every time. Probably means I’m going insane.

I wasn't really sure what I was looking for, and when I located it I was sure there had been some mistake.

Surely someone had made a mistake and accidentally put budgie food in where the quinoa was supposed to be. So, I did what any normal person would do - I Googled it on my phone.

After perusing a few Google images I realized it was ~~birdseed~~ quinoa and added it to my cart.

A few days earlier I came across Cheesy Quinoa Burgers on Nutmeg Notebook (who got the recipe from Eating Well...Living Thin). They looked beautiful. I'm often seduced by food ~~porn~~ pictures. Anyhoo, the recipe was easy to follow and the quinoa cooked up easily.

And in no time flat I had the burgers in the frying pan. Cheese. *drool*

My only problem with the recipe was when I went to flip them they fell apart! I think if I made them again I would put them in the freezer for 10-20 min to firm up first.

My finished product did not look as pretty as the original, but it tasted yummier than I thought!

Look at me, Mom! I ate quinoa and it was good!

Emotional weight heavier than physical weight

2011-04-14T05:31:00.000-06:00

Self-confidence is something I need to work on. I know that one of the reasons why I feel so isolated is because I shut people out. It’s one of the reasons I stopped blogging in 2009 - things started not going well and I reacting by shutting people out. Terrible, I know. I realized recently that my experiences in high school affected has weighed on me more than I thought.

Note: During the summer my parents would often take me on trips. Once school ended I left my hometown and returned in the fall.

When I was in grade 8 my best friend was Sarah. During the summer between grade 8 and 9 Sarah decided that I was no longer friend-worthy and ‘dumped’ me. In grade 9 Sandy and I became inseparable. When I returned to school in fall Sandy had made new friends and shunned me. In grade 10 I met Amanda. Amanda was a good friend to me. However, in grade 11 she got a boyfriend and I became a back-up friend.

I have a long history of feeling rejected by females. I know a lot of what I went through in high school was because of my weight. While other girls were experimenting with clothes and talking about boys, I was left out. Boys weren’t interested in me and the trendy fashions did not fit me. (I’m actually going through a discovery process in regards to my sense of style, but I’ll write about that in another post.)

I truly believe that I’m not only carrying around physical weight, but also the emotional weight of not feeling accepted. Until I lose some of that emotional weight I will not be able to lose the physical weight. After 10+ years, it’s time to get rid of it.

Can I return fruit?

2011-04-13T05:53:00.000-06:00

I am having a lovefest with grapes right now. I get slightly giddy when I pull my daily 32 grapes off their stems, wash them and lovingly place them in their container to take to work. When my iCalendar alerts me that it is time to eat, I eagerly devour my grapes in a manner that I’m sure alarms my office mates.

Therefore, it was much to my dismay when, the other day, instead of the lovely sweet taste I encountered a waxy, bitter taste. I sat there and frowned at the round, purple impostors. Why did they taste so horrible? They were all pretty uniform, so I am going to blame it on weird farming techniques that create designer-looking fruit.

Can I return fruit? I remember thinking my dad was crazy for returning opened bologna when I was a kid, but I definitely feel wronged.

Luckily, I have my Greek yogurt to keep me from becoming homicidal.

Change who you are in order to lose weight

2011-04-12T05:10:00.000-06:00

A question that has come up in my reading a lot is, “What kind of person will you have to become in order to achieve your goal?” I believe I will have to become the following person in order to achieve my goal:

I am an active person. I move my body on a regular basis. I get my heart rate up for at least 30 minutes, 6 times a week. I do not eat processed food. My diet consists of lots of fruits and vegetables. I get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night. I do not eat emotionally. I express my feelings through writing, through dance and to the people close to me. I am vibrant, positive person. I inspire those around me. I have a balanced life. I work equally on all areas of my life. I take personal pride in my physical appearance and always strive to look my best. I have a well-developed sense of my personal style. My self-worth comes from within and I am a confident person. My choices are based on my principles, which are defined by my personal mission statement.

I cannot wait to become this person. I realize that it will not be an overnight transition, but I can move closer to it each and every day.

What will I do today to move myself closer to my goal?

1. I will eat natural, unprocessed food
2. I will exercise (20 minutes of Zumba)
3. I will look my best (and get a new hairstyle!)
4. I will sleep 7 hours
5. I will have fruit and vegetables at every meal

What will you do today to move yourself closer to your goal?

Who will you have to become to achieve your goal?

Learning to Love Exercise

2011-04-11T07:25:00.000-06:00

For the past week and a half I've hooked my computer up to my TV and I've emulated Zumba routines I found on YouTube. I pick ones that have good sound quality and songs that make me want to groove - Hey Baby by Pitbull, for one!

I'm sure my husband thinks I'm crazy. I push all furniture to the side and shoo him into the computer room so I can shake my bum in private. I should really turn my camera on to capture what I can only imagine is hilarious. But, I'm loving it! I'm getting my heart rate up, I've learned some new moves and I'm having fun.

However, I'm still learning to make being active a habit. When I woke up today I was hmming and hahing over whether or not I was going to do my 20 mins of Zumba as my bed was feeling way more comfortable. So I did the old 'do it for 5 mins and if you don't like it you can quit' trick and got my bum in motion - figuratively and literally!

Speaking of my bum, my body has been complaining a lot about being moved more. It tried to slow me down by making my knees hurt, but I ignored the pain and continued. Then, it decided that it would try and make my ankles hurt, but I pushed through. Lately it's been attacking my feet in an attempt to punish me, but I have continued on. I think my body will stop fighting me for supremacy soon. Take that!

Things you should read, eat and try

2011-04-08T08:14:00.000-06:00

I am so happy it's Friday!

I thought I would share some of my favourite things of the week.

A heartfelt blog post:

Opposite of Thin

A reason not to wait to be at goal to be fashionable:

Le Blog de Big Beauty

A healthy snack that feels like an indulgence:

A Zumba routine that will make you feel sexy:

I was also wondering what blogs you read when you want to feel inspired? I have cleaned out my Google reader subscriptions and I am looking for new blogs to read. What would you recommend I read? I need your input!

Have a fabulous Friday!

The Secret to Losing Weight

2011-04-07T07:57:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I was reading Design Your Best Year Ever by Darren Hardy. According to Hardy:

“The human tendency is to engage itself in the study of effect, but give little attention to the cause behind all effects.”

Makes sense.

“This is also why people who make a goal of losing weight…actually lose the weight, and then end up going back to the same or worse weight than when they started. Why? Because in the end the weight was not the source of the problem, only the effect.”

I felt like I was having one of those moments you see in cartoons where the book starts talking to you. It was like Hardy appeared in a thought bubble and pointed at me: “I'm talking to you, Natasha!”

He is right.

I still have not come to terms with what makes me overeat in the first place, and until I do I will continue to repeat the same lose-gain cycle that I've repeating since I was 14. I will have to come up with a plan for discovering the cause of my overeating. And soon.

On an unrelated note, I have decided to change my hairstyle. Here's what my hair looks like currently.

I'm definitely over this look. I want something a lot more polished. I scheduled a hair appointment on Monday and I'll post a picture of my new ‘do’ on Tuesday.

Goals, Zumba and Pink

2011-04-06T12:37:00.000-06:00

I had this whole plan to write a post about why I derailed in October 2009, but I can't seem to put my finger on what happened. I was hoping that my past posts would give me a clue, but they were generally positive. I have a pattern of not sharing my weaknesses, which isolates me when things go wrong in my life. It is definitely a pattern I need to break.

So, since I can’t do a post on what went wrong, I will do a post on what's going right.

On the weekend I rewrote my 50 reasons (now 57 reasons) for getting healthy. Keeping focused on the WHY.

Yesterday I did some goal planning.

Last night I busted some moves and worked up a sweat doing some fun Zumba routines.

I am going to focus on not getting too ahead of myself and direct my attention to following through on the goals I set. I'm great with coming up with plans – not so great at following through. But, that's in the past and today is what matters. Today, I am following through with my goals. I don't need to worry about yesterday, or what I'm going to do tomorrow. Just today. What I do today is what matters.

I'm going to leave you with a rockin’ song – have a listen if you need some energy.

Have a wicked awesome day!

"A Goal Without a Plan is Only a Dream..."

Stategies for my weight loss - Part 3

2011-04-05T09:45:00.000-06:00

First, a rant…

While sitting in my car this morning, I snapped this photo:

Do you know what that is? It's frost. Frost I had to scrape off my windows. Sigh.

Dear Edmonton Weather,

You suck. It's April. Get with the program. I refuse to wear my winter jacket in the morning anymore. I am tired of having to watch out for ice on the sidewalks. There is still snow in my front yard. You need to deal with these issues ASAP.

Sincerely,
Natasha.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

I have once again decided to only weigh myself once a month. Why? Because I really, really, really want to weigh myself every day. Each time I walk past my scale I want to step on it. But, this is a problem for two reasons:

1. I can see how the number on the scale could alter my daily happiness.
2. Change isn't always reflected by how much I weigh.

By only checking my measurements and weight once a month I can focus my attention on my daily goals that will facilitate the change as opposed to being focused on the change itself.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Do you weigh yourself every day? Every week? Does it work for you? Would you consider changing to a monthly weigh in? Let me know your thoughts.

Have a beautiful day!

My Workout Music

2011-04-04T13:04:00.001-06:00

Blow – Ke$ha

S&M – Rihanna

We Don’t Speak No Americano - Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP

Hey Baby – Pitbull

Hello –Martin Solveig & Dragonette

Backseat - New Boyz ft. The Cataracs & Dev

Hold It Against Me - Britney Spears

Sweat - Snoop Dogg

Dynamite - Taio Cruz

Stronger - Kanye West

Have a beautiful day!

Strategies for my weight loss – Part 2

2011-04-02T19:27:00.000-06:00

I will focus on today.

What I did yesterday can’t be changed. Whether I did good or bad, it doesn’t matter because I can’t change it. All I can do is focus on what I will do today to further my goals.

Each morning I will rewrite my goals to keep them fresh in my mind and focus my energy.

“One today is worth two tomorrows.” – Benjamin Franklin

What I’ve learned from America’s Next Top Model and how it applies to weight loss

2011-04-01T16:18:00.002-06:00

You caught me. I’m a closet ANTM fan. I won’t disclose how many of the 16 seasons I’ve watched, but it’s been a few. While I can’t stand most of the drama, I love the artistic nature of high fashion modeling. What I would consider seemingly homely girls are transformed into art. After watching the show ~~sporadically~~ religiously, I feel that there are some valuable lessons that can be learned from it. Here’s some of the lessons I’ve learned from watching ANTM:

Lesson #1: Find your archetype

According to Tyra, every model falls into a certain archetype: bombshell, athletic, couture, girl-next-door, edgy, or a combination of archetypes. Her message: work with your archetype, not against it.

How it applies to weight loss: Do what works for you. If you like dancing, use it as a foundation for your workout regime. If you hate running, don’t make that your primary exercise routine. Forcing yourself to fit into a certain workout regiment will work against you in the long run. You may be able to do it short-term, but you need to find something you want to do long-term in order to maintain the behaviour.

Lesson #2: Develop a thick skin

The modeling business is tough. Models will be turned down for more jobs than hired. Tyra warns her contestants to develop a way to deal with rejection. Learn from disappointment instead of dwelling on it.

How it applies to weight loss: There are going to be ups and downs along the way. Sometimes you’re going to lose weight, sometimes you’re going to gain weight and sometimes you’re going to stay the same weight. If you have a bad day/week/month, pick yourself back up and try again. Never give up.

Lesson #3: Be prepared

Every model needs to be prepared. You never know when you might be called to go see a casting agent or a client. If you show up unprepared, it reflects poorly on you. What should every model have on her? Her portfolio and nude undies.

How it applies to weight loss: Life happens. You plan on eating dinner at 6, but you get caught in traffic until 7. If you’re prepared, you’ll have a healthy snack to tide you over. If you’re not, you might end up going through a drive-thru to quell the starvation.

Lesson #4: Believe in yourself

There have been countless girls cut from the show who had enormous potential, but they didn’t believe in themselves. No matter how many times Tyra told them how beautiful they were and how much promise they had, certain girls could never get past their own insecurities and were eventually eliminated.

How it applies to weight loss: You need to control your inner critic. The voice inside of you that says you can’t do it, reminds you of your past mistakes and plants seeds of doubt in your mind. Believe that you can be the best that you can be if you put your mind to it. Be your biggest fan. Be confident in your abilities.

What lessons have you learned on your weight loss journey?

Strategies for my weight loss – Part 1

2011-03-31T21:12:00.000-06:00

The why makes the how easier.

Over the weekend I wrote down 50 reasons for why I wanted to make my health a priority. Knowing why I am changing my lifestyle will help me make my future triumphs sweeter and my future difficulties manageable. I have decided that I will rewrite my 50 reasons once a week to keep the ‘why’ at the forefront. Too often I have focused on the how. How am I going to lose the weight? How many calories can I cut? How many workouts can I do? I feel that has been my mistake in the past. I was focusing on the how and forgot why I was doing it. The how will not carry me through the tough times, but the why certainly will.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Do you know your 'why'? What are your 50 reasons?

I'm over The Biggest Loser and Heavy

2011-03-30T15:10:00.000-06:00

Why is it that most weight loss shows are so unrealistic? Sure, the participants lose weight, but under what circumstances? Most shows remove people for six months and require them to do 4-5 hours of cardio a day. It makes weight loss look easy. No, I’m not denying that those people work really hard while they on the show. However, when I see a man lose 141 pounds in 6 months I feel the message becomes skewed. To me, these tactics are no better than get rich quick schemes. I would much rather see realistic stories of weight loss. Something I could emulate.

From October 2009 to Present

2011-03-30T02:11:00.000-06:00

It’s been over a year since my last post. A lot has happened.

I have gained back all the weight I lost.
I was denied full health coverage because I am obese.
I feel my husband has lost interest in me sexually.
I now have regular knee pain.
I have been diagnosed with plantar fasciitis.
My self-confidence has disappeared.
I feel lost.

I remember this blog being a source of motivation for me. I think I will start blogging again to help me find my way back again.

Still around

2009-10-19T06:18:00.001-06:00

Hey guys. I'm still here, I just haven't had much to say recently. I'll be back when I have something to write about.

Weigh-In Results!!

2009-10-15T13:01:00.002-06:00

This week I lost....

I am ecstatic! Take THAT, Thanksgiving.

Starting weight: 260
Current weight: 225.6
Weight lost: 34.4
Pounds to go until I'm under 200: 26.6

I'm telling you, getting rid of my scale is the key to a lot of this success. I have also been paying real close attention to my internal hunger cues and only eating when I'm physically hungry. Otherwise, I just distract myself. Combine all of that with eating smaller portions and booyah! -3.2 pounds. I'm a bit excited (if you can't tell).

This post is going to be short and sweet since I need to finish a couple more pages for the chapter I'm working on and finish getting ready for work. But, yeah, I'm hella excited right now.

I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Randomness and Q&A

2009-10-14T22:52:00.005-06:00

You know, every once in awhile I think about turning off comments to keep my focus on blogging for myself as opposing to potentially blogging for others. But, I don't think I ever will. For many reasons:

1. Comments keep me humble. Whenever I make a gaffe or put my foot in my mouth I like that there are people out there that will speak up and/or put me in my place. I like that. Sometimes it stings, but it's good to be questioned. Other bloggers keep me focused when I veer off track and let me know when I'm being a complete spaz.

2. I don't pretend to know it all. Other bloggers offer valuable insight that I may overlook if I don't allow input from others. Most recently a few people suggested that I put away my scale. Best thing I have EVER done in regards to my weight loss journey.

3. Others that have experienced similar emotions/situations/failures and can give me insight to how they dealt with it, offer me a shoulder to cry on, or suggestions about possible solutions. I find this kind of interaction invaluable and I don't know what I would do without it.

I didn't think that my post yesterday would elicit so many different opinions, but I'm glad it did. I got to hear from some people who always offer me invaluable advice, from some new people with fresh and interesting opinions, and from some people who always give me tough love. (Don't worry Rebecca, I'm not sneezing at my amount of followers. I'm honoured that anyone wants to read what I have to say, let alone on a regular basis.)

And, I have to admit that I got a rush when Jen from Use Real Butter left me a comment on yesterday's post. She has an amazing food blog that I have been following for eons. Sometimes I just get lost in her blog. She is such a skilled photographer. So, maybe I'm just as much of as an attention whore. It's good to recognize our weaknesses, right?

Okay, I wanted to respond to some questions that people have left me in the past week or so. First up is Just Another Fat Girl who asked,

Where does the Turkey come from on Thanksgiving and how did that Candadian holiday evolve? Did you have Pilgrims, too?

I am SO embarrassed to admit that I had no idea where Canadian Thanksgiving came from. All I remember learning about it in school was making construction paper turkeys. Shame on me. So, like the good little history student I am, I went and looked it up. According to Canada First:

[Canada] did actually have the FIRST Thanksgiving, a full 43 years before the pilgims at Plymouth Rock, but, in true Canadian fashion, there was something wrong with it. That first North American Thanksgiving would have been "celebrated" in sub-zero temperatures on a barren, windswept moonscape by a muttering, mutinous crowd wondering whether "the chief" had all his marbles.
In 1576, Sir Martin Frobisher set out to find the Spice Islands. He landed instead on Baffin Island. The complete absence of trees and a pitiless terrain of unrelieved rock and permafrost barely dampened his determination to establish the first English settlement in North America. Not yet disabused of his perennial optimism, he spent two years mining "gold ore". When it was well and duly hauled back to England, it assayed out as iron pyrite. Fool's Gold.
By 1710 we were back on track with this Thanksgiving thing. Records at Port Royal, Nova Scotia, note an October 10 thanksgiving celebration to mark the return of the town to the English. In 1763, Halifax celebrated the end of the Seven Years War with a similar ceremony.
In 1879, Parliament formally declared November 6 as a day of Thanksgiving, and so it remained until after the Armistice of WWI, when Thanksgiving and Remembrance Day would have conflicted thematically during the same week.
When Thanksgiving was assigned to its present second Monday in October, former Ontario Premier E.C. Drury, head of the United Farmers of Ontario, decried the move as a ploy by city-dwellers to move a farmer's holiday "up" the calendar so they could enjoy a long weekend while the weather was likely to still be fine (at the farmer's expense). Canadian - eh?

Who knew? Learn something every day. I'm not sure why we have turkey, to be honest. I couldn't find out any information about it. Do any of my fellow Canadians know?

JAFG also asked,

Think about The Fonze. Wait, did you Canadians get Happy Days?

I'm feeling like a bad Canadian today. Did we get Happy Days? I have no idea. I remember seeing it on Nick at Nite, but that was when I was in the US as a kid. See, this is why people don't ask me questions. I'm highly useless. :)

Well, this is getting a little long, so I think I'll go and catch up on all your blogs. Thanks for reading, as always.

I hope you are all having a great weekend. Thanks for reading.

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Not part of the cool crowd

2009-10-14T01:43:00.002-06:00

Have you ever noticed that no matter where you go, if there's a group of people there will be some kind of hierarchy? There will be the "cool people" and the rest of us. I've never been one of the "cool people." And it's not surprise to me that even in group of people that generally are not the "cool people" (in this case, those who are overweight are generally not seen as popular) I still find myself outside of the "cool" crowd. We all know who is part of the cool weight-loss crowd. They are the people that have 400+ followers. They all tweet and retweet (I think that's what the RT stands for, anyway) each other's messages. They are guest posters and do "cool" things that are meant just for them. We are secretly pleased whenever they comment on our posts. Downright gleeful, in fact.

You might say, "You're just jealous of them, Natasha." Hmmm... it's possible. Everyone wants to feel popular. But there are some things that do bother me a bit. Like giveaways where you need to promote their blog. You have to post their giveaway on your blog, add them on twitter, or any other hoop they feel like making you jump through. Am I berating them for doing this? No. It's their choice to do whatever they want with their blog. I'm just trying to make sense of this. Makes me wonder why people blog. Makes me wonder why I blog.

Do we sometimes blog for the glory? Do we all wish that we could be part of the "cool" weight loss crowd?

Weigh-in results

2009-10-11T16:01:00.002-06:00

Big oops!

I forgot to post my weigh-in results! I swear my head would fall off if it wasn't attached to my head.

So... I lost 1.6 pounds! Yay.

Starting weight: 260
Current weight: 228.8
Weight lost: 31.2
Pounds to go until I'm under 200: 29.8

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

I'm currently trying to survive Thanksgiving weekend. It's been trying so far, but I am doing really well. Tonight is turkey dinner. I'm not concerned about it. There is lots of vegetables, I'm going to avoid the bread basket, have only a taste of gravy, and a smattering of desserts. It's the leftovers that I am worried about. I tend to do really well the day off, but then fall off the wagon afterward. I am going to break that cycle this year. I have been using twitter to keep myself on track. Every time I feel the urge to stuff myself I twitter that I am not going to eat X. So far, so good.

As usual, I'm including my latest weigh-in video. There's some footage of an elk that I say in Jasper, plus some nonsense about me rationalizing a daiquiri as a fruit serving. Enjoy. :)

I hope you are all having a great weekend. Thanks for reading.

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Over the top

2009-10-09T17:10:00.002-06:00

First off, thank you to everyone that left me comments of support after yesterday's post. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I felt like I got a big virtual hug.

The wonderful and clever Kimmi gave me this fun award:

The rules stipulate that I need to answer the following questions.

35 Questions:

1)Where is your cell phone? Fused to my hand
2)Your hair? Dark, dark brown
3)Your mother?A friend and foe all rolled into one.
4)Your father? Too much like me
5)Your favorite food? Pizza
6)Your dream last night? None that I remember, which is a rarity
7)Your favorite drink? Shirley temple
8)Your dream/goal? To wear a bikini
9)What room are you in? Husband's room
10)Your hobby? Cooking
11)Your fear? Failing
12)Where do you want to be in 6 years? I drew a blank on this question
13)Where were you last night? At home
14)Something that you aren't? Judgmental
15)Muffins? I have them rarely
16)Wish list item? BMW
17)Where did you grow up? Prince George, B.C.
18)Last thing you did? Watched some YouTube videos
19)What are you wearing? Jeans, hot pink tank top, and a grey sweater
20)Your t.v.? On
21)Your pets? Two degus. They are my furry children.
22)Friends? Few and far between
23)Your life? Rarely what I expect
24)Your mood? Determined
25)Missing someone? The Tommy
26)Vehicle? Honda Civic
27)Something your not wearing? Bracelet
28)Your favorite store? Wal-Mart. It has everything.
29)Favorite color? Hot pink
30)Last time you laughed? Today
31)Last time you cried? Yesterday
32)Best friend? The Tommy
33)One place that I go to over and over? Grocery store
34)One person who emails me regularly? My thesis supervisor
35)Favorite place to eat? L&W Restaurant in Jasper

I hope you all have a great weekend! For those of you in Canada, have a happy Thanksgiving!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Finding a way to be more interactive

2009-10-08T20:20:00.003-06:00

Something has been bugging me for the past couple of weeks and I was hoping that someone would have a suggestion for me on how to make it better.

I have to start by saying that one of the reasons I keep going is the people that read my blog have given me so much support, without which I would be floundering in a continuous emotional eating cycle.

My problem is that I feel so disconnected from the people that have helped me so much. They leave such wonderful comments, and yet I feel I have little recourse in how to thank them. I can leave a comment on their blog, but it seems so artificial. As if I'm just leaving a comment because they left me a comment. But if I don't leave a comment I feel like people will think that I am an egotistical blogger.

I feel stuck.

So, what am I to do? Do any of you feel this way? How do you cope with it?

Having said all that, I'm humbled to have been given 3 different blog awards. They all require some personal sharing time, so I think I'll deal with them one at a time so I don't overwhelm anyone that reads this post.

The Token Fat Friend graciously gave me the honest scrap award a couple weeks ago.

Here are my ten truths:

1. I struggle every day with the thought that I am a complete loser. Most of the time I feel like a complete, miserable wretch that can barely tie her shoes let alone function in the world. I don't understand why things seem to be harder for me than they are for other people. I mask this feeling of inadequacy for the most part, but it lingers there nonetheless. It disgusts me that I feel this way.

2. My breasts are a constant source of embarrassment and discomfort. They are quite large and are constantly getting in the way. What I wouldn't give to be able to exercise without wearing 2-3 bras, being able to cross my arms underneath my chest, lay down without having them touch my chin, etc..

3. I grew up sneaking food. I would hide bags of cookies and chips underneath my bed all the time. I still have this habit, although it's more under control. My binges are usually in secret. Behind closed door where no one can see my shame.

4. I am a diet snob. I have been dieting since I was 13 years old. I feel sometimes like I know everything, even when I don't. Worse still, I can come off as a show off. It's really just a manifestation of my own frustration with not having lost this weight, despite being at it for more than 15 years in some shape or form. Most of my teenage memories are primarily all the failed attempts at losing my weight.

5. I have been sexually assaulted twice.

6. Sometimes I feel like my mother wants to keep me fat because it keeps the status quo in my family. I fear that if I lose weight that it will alienate my parents.

7. I have a hard time making and keeping friends. I felt a lot of rejection growing up. Every summer my parents and I would go on a trip, and when I came home my friends would no longer talk to me. It happened every year without fail. As a result I have trouble finding and keeping friends. I'm afraid to put myself out there because I fear rejection on such an intense level.

8. I worry that if I lose the weight I will still be completely insignificant to people.

9. I'm really good at cooking. It's one of the only times I feel whole and at peace.

10. Writing these truths is one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's hard to face the reality of your life at times.

The bloggers I pass this on to:

the long hard road out of hell
live, smile, run
skinny me... coming soon
operation size 8
lindsay: under construction
friend of the bear
a cake for a wife
100in12
new start ~ new life
follow the fat girl

As always, thank you for reading. I shudder to think where I would be without the support of this blogging community. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

New Video

2009-10-07T11:42:00.002-06:00

Weigh-in tonight. I expect to be up, or maintain. Either way, I'm fine with it. I'm at peace with whatever happens because I'm going to keep at it. I'm not going to give up. No matter what happens. I'm going to keep getting better. Things are not the same as they were 6 months ago. I'm in a much better place.

I've decided that I'm going to employ the rule of small, incremental changes that will one day turn into big changes. I'm not going to try and be 100 percent better at my weight loss, exercising, life, school, work... I'm going to just try and be 0.1 percent better than the day before. If I do that, in 10 days I'll be 1 percent better than I was ten days ago. In 100 days I'll be 10 percent better than I was 100 days ago. Instead of bouncing back between 100 percent to 50 percent to 0, I will just keep making small, sustainable changes. Changes that I can maintain.

So, there you have it.

I'm also going to include the video that I made last week, but never got around to editing until last night. I'll be making another one tonight, so expect to see it shortly.

Thanks for reading!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Recap

2009-10-06T12:10:00.002-06:00

Well, I know I've been MIA for about a week, so here's a quick recap:

Wednesday:
Weighed in. Lost 0 pounds. Was a little upset, but The Tommy helped me be rational. I'm not going to be that girl that gives up when things get a little rough. I am going to see this through the good and the bad days/weeks/months. I'm here to stay.

Thursday:
Worked from 8 a.m. to 1 a.m. on me chapter in order to hand it in for Friday. 'Nuff said about that day.

Friday:
Got packed up for Jasper.

Saturday - Monday:
Spent the weekend with The Tommy in Jasper. Wonderful time. Will post pictures soon. Indulged on Sunday night big time. Do I feel bad about it? No. Indulging once in awhile will not kill me. If it's a daily thing, then I need to be worried. Will probably be up this week. Drank my weight in wine.

I will get back to posting daily. Don't give up on me. :)

Random Thoughts

2009-09-29T14:47:00.005-06:00

10 rules for weight loss

I'm glad that so many of you enjoyed my list. I had some great suggestions from people of things that they would add to it, so I thought I would share them with you:

"my addition would be to lose weight to improve your life, not let weight loss BE your life" - Erin

"One of my rules is the fact that I didn't really get it right until I fixed my head. Sometimes you have to stare the issues right in the face. Why are you obese to begin with? What life situations and choices brought you there and what are you going to do to change it?" - Christy

"Putting myself first has been the key to my success. I have given myself six months to focus on me 100%." - LyricGirl

I think these are great additions to the list, so thank you, ladies.

I also had an interesting comment from the gentleman from Stages of Change. He wrote,

"Well, I must point out that being a weight-loss loser is, I suspect, a bad thing. Being a loser (in the weight sense) is a good thing, but you've already covered that in the "weight-loss" part,so the "loser" part then implies that the person is bad at being a weight-loser...if you will."

It made me stop and think (which is always a good thing). I wholeheartedly agree with this comment. So, from here on out this list will be known as the Ten Rules for Weight-Loss Winners.

Thanks for keeping tabs on me. I appreciate it.

Shrink Yourself

Alea had asked if I would recommend the book Shrink Yourself. I would recommend it for anyone that struggles with emotional eating. It's a hard book to read because it forces you to deal with a lot of issues you may not be ready to deal with. Such as problems with your family, your self-esteem, your expectations in regards to weight loss... So, if you're not ready to face your demons, this book may not be for you.

However, if you're sick and tired of repeating the binge eating cycle I would recommend it in a heartbeat. It has made a tremendous difference in my life. I haven't binged for emotional reasons in over a month.

Weigh-In

Tomorrow is my weigh-in day, so I will post my results Thursday morning. This will be the second week without my scale, so I have no idea how it's going to go. The urge to weigh myself is not as intense this week, but I still don't like going in blind. On the plus side, it's still great to be in the habit of not weighing myself every day. I feel a lot more in control of my moods and I'm no longer affected by the numbers on the scale. That makes me feel incredible.

Re-Branding McDonald's

While I was surfing the net last I came across a banner add for McDonald's challenging me to check out the quality of their food. So, I went and checked out their website. It took me to their "Food, Nutrition, and Fitness" section.

A little flash screen comes up that allows you to click through their menu choices and see the "quality" of their food. When you click on the burger a little text box pops up that read, "We use 100% beef in our patties. There's no better percent than that." Click on the eggs and it reads, "Take a closer look. We do. Every egg we serve is individually inspected. All 3 billion of them, per year."

Okay. Fair enough. McDonald's doesn't serve burgers made with mealworm. I've known that for a long time. But the message here still left me a feeling a little suspicious of the whole thing. What bothered me is this message that as long as it's "quality food" that it's okay to eat it. And not just once in awhile, but "regularly." Regularly is in quotation marks because it's a direct quote from a video in the Mom's Quality Correspondence section:

"We market food and beverages that are healthier to kids. And by focusing exclusively right now on the chicken mcnugget meal with the low-fat milk and the apple dippers, we know that we're serving a meal that not only do the kids love, but that parents should feel good about enjoying regularly."*

Regularly.

I think that's what bothers me about this message. That, as long as the food is of good quality, it can be enjoyed regularly. And although I'm a huge supporter that there is no 'good' and 'bad' food - food is not a moral issue, in my opinion - but there is food that needs to be enjoyed in moderation. Four chicken mcnuggets accounts for 1/5 of your daily intake of fat. In four mcnuggets.

The whole site just left me feel a bit dirty. But, maybe I'm overreacting? What do you think about this whole 'quality = good' message?

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

* the video can be found here.

Ten Rules to Being a Weight-Loss Loser

2009-09-28T11:29:00.005-06:00

I came across this list for "Ten Rules for Being Human" and I got the idea to make one for how to be a weight-loss loser.

1.	You have to learn to love yourself. Even if you lose weight your body may never look like Jessica Alba's/Brad Pitt's body. Accept this. Find attributes/characteristics/flaws to love about the body you have.
2.	Life happens. Despite all your best efforts, you might not lose any weight one week, or even gain weight for no reason. Life isn't fair, and neither is weight loss. What mattes is that you don't let the numbers on the scale dictate your life.
3.	Be nice to yourself. Learn to say more nice things about yourself than negative things.
4.	Continually make small changes. Don't try to change everything at once. You wouldn't expect to be able to run a marathon if you've never run a mile. The same applies to healthy eating. Keep building on small changes instead of making radical ones.
5.	Lose the need to be perfect. No one can be a perfect loser. There are going to be days where you don't drink enough water, take one more bite than you should have, take two more bites than you should have, where you don't get enough water, when you don't exercise enough... That doesn't mean that you're not making progress.
6.	Forgive yourself for the past and focus on the present. The present is the only thing you have control over. It shapes your future.
7.	Surround yourself with supportive people. People who will cheer you on and relish in your successes. Lean on them in your time of need.
8.	Don't wait until you're at goal weight to start living. If you want to dance, dance. If you want to be fashionable, pick up a fashion magazine and work with what you have. Do it now.
9.	Forget about trying to lose 2 pounds every week. It will only set you up for disappointment. Two pounds is the MAX you should lose on average, not the minimum.
10.	Remind yourself of these rules again and again.

What would you add to this list?

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Can an old dog learn new tricks?

2009-09-27T12:12:00.002-06:00

Epiphany

Yesterday I was talking to The Tommy about how moody I have been recently (and apologizing), and it hit me that I haven't had an emotional eating binge in a month. A whole month. I think that's my longest stretch ever. But until that moment I didn't connect the two. Prior to reading Shrink Yourself, whenever I would feel bad I would eat. Eating would calm my feelings (for the time being) and I would go about my day again. However, since I haven't been doing that I've been forced to deal with a bunch of feelings I'm not used to. No wonder I've been so moody. My brain is seeking out a different way to deal with my emotions and I'm not helping it out any. I'll have to do some thinking about how to deal with my feelings from now on. I don't want them to come out in another dysfunctional form (drinking, shopping, partying, etc.). I need to learn how to deal with my emotions - teaching myself new tricks, so to speak. I do look at this as good news, though. I'd rather be a bit moody than stuffing my face with Oreos. Sorry, Tommy.

Rookie Mistakes

This weekend I had a sharp reminder that I need to make sure that I'm eating the majority of my calories before dinner time. I woke up at a decent hour on Saturday, so I started working on organizing my office. Then I went and woke up The Tommy and we headed out the door to run some errands. When I left I had only eaten 9 of my 29 points for the day. And we didn't get home until 8 p.m.. I was STARVING! I should have had something while I was out, but by the time I realized I was hungry it was already 7. So, needless to say, I let myself get too hungry and I went over my points by about 7 points. Gross. I know weekends are hard for a lot of people, so I don't feel ashamed or anything. I will just make sure I make a better plan for the weekends. I have to make sure I don't let myself get too comfortable. Whenever I'm doing well I tend to slack off and then I just gain the weight back again. I refuse to let that happen. Natasha, knock it off.

Welcome

I've noticed that I've had a few new readers recently and I've been really excited to read your comments. It's always great to get new perspectives from people on my thoughts. A lot of you seemed to identify with my inner critic post, which is kind of a shame - in the sense that we are so hard on ourselves. I wish we could all love ourselves and support ourselves the way we do others. I wonder why that is so difficult for me (and I sense, many of you). Regardless, I love hearing your thoughts and I am always thrilled when people leave me comments and/or e-mails (thanks Lindsay!)

Learning more new tricks

One thing that I was really pleased about this weekend was damage control. As many of you know, I do kickboxing every Sunday morning. It's an intense workout (1 1/2 hours) that includes running, kicking, punching, strength training - the whole nine yards. Well, today, I was disappointed that it had been canceled. I'm not going to lie, there was a little bit of relief because I was tired, but I was also concerned about the activity that I was losing out on. In the past I would have gone home and did nothing, but today I took the bull by the horns and created my own workout at home. We have a computer hooked up to our TV screen, so I made a playlist of a bunch of YouTube Zumba videos and did an hour's worth of dance routines. It was a blast and I worked up a decent sweat. So, yay! I guess I can be taught new tricks/habits. Very exciting.

That's it for me. I'm going to go catch up on what the rest of you have been up to. Thanks for reading!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Silencing my inner critic

2009-09-26T10:57:00.003-06:00

Shut up!

I actually had to tell my inner critic to shut up yesterday. I had to look myself in the mirror and tell that little voice inside my head that was screaming terrible things at me to SHUT UP! I have no idea what has caused her to come out in such a violent manner. But, wow, can she affect me. I wasn't happy with my hair, my clothes, my skin... and for no good reason.

I finally had to have an all out battle with her. I literally yelled back that my hair is looking better than it ever has, I fit into a pair of size 16 jeans yesterday, more of my clothes are fitting than ever before,etc, etc...

I have no idea why she reared her ugly head yesterday, but the point is: I won. I have decided that I'm not going to listen to this voice anymore. She has ruined me for the last time. I will not give in to binging to try and get her to stop (that has worked really well in the past, mind you). I am going to face her head on and just tell her to SHUT UP! Take that, inner critic! Ms. Sabotage, your days are numbered.

Organizing My Life

2009-09-25T13:53:00.003-06:00

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I have decided that in order to succeed in getting my weight under control, I need to get my life under control.

Getting Started

So, last night I went out and bought a book on organization and a day planner. I also dedicated a blank journal to tracking and planning my eating.

Creating a work space

I've decided that I'm going to start in my office, since it's a room that has been bugging me for some time. Here are a few pictures of the the disorganized room:

Baby steps

To get me started, I decided to do one small project that would be fast to do and would give me some motivation to get this room organized. I had seen an article in an interior design magazine I was reading that suggesting colour coding your books for aesthetic appeal. So I did.

You can't really see all the blue books on the bottom shelves, but I'm pretty please with the overall look. I have a week to get this room organized and I will post pictures of the finished room next week.

One last thing

A few people have e-mailed me and asked me to put my weekly videos in my weigh-in posts, and I totally forgot to yesterday. But, I'll do it today.

I'll warn you that I'm still having some problems with my audio, so the volume changes periodically. I'm so sorry, and I'm working on it.

I hope you have a great weekend!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Weigh-In and Pictures

2009-09-24T14:30:00.002-06:00

Weigh-In

Thursdays are weigh-in days! And I'm pleased to announce that I am down...

Woo!

That means my stats are:
Starting Weight: 260
Current Weight: 230.4
Pounds Lost: -29.6
Pounds Until I'm Under 200: 30.4

This is all VERY exciting news.

What is going well:
- portion control
- eating slower (this has been a constant battle for me)
- eating more fruits and vegetables
- sleeping 7-8 hours a night
- not eating bites of things (if The Tommy is having chicken mcnuggets I'm not having a bite here and there)

What I want to work on:
- more exercise (20-30 min a day of exercise that makes me sweat)
- eating 75% of my calories before 5pm (I am doing better, but I'm probably at about 65% right now)
- keeping my stress level minimal

Sayonara Scale

I am so pleased that I took your advice and put away my scale. It made a world of difference. I really felt more at peace with myself during the past week. Today was a little scary because I didn't know what I weighed going in, and the suspense was killing me! But to step on that scale and have it read 230.4 was such a triumph. I'm SO excited.

With that said, I've decided that my scale is going on permanent hiatus. I found that it was just such a great thing to do for my mental health. Not weighing myself removed the number on the scale from dictating my day. It makes a world of difference. I know Syl is encouraging people to put away their scale for the month of October, and I would encourage you all to take her up on her offer.

Getting my life in order

My next big project is to get my life and home in order. Now that I am working I know that I won't have as much freedom when it comes to getting chores done, and I really need to get my life in order. My home is not messy, but it's highly unorganized and I know that it's having an effect on my well-being. This week I pledge to finding a book that will help me organize my life. I know that doing so will help not only help my mentally, but also physically with my weight loss. I know that part of my emotional eating comes from being stressed about things in my life. The better I can counteract those feelings by having my life organized, I will remove the need to binge eat as a reaction to being dissatisfied with chaos in my life.

Pictures from my trip

I wanted to share with you quickly some pictures from my visit to British Columbia.

Catching a fish in Ness Lake. It's kind of a half smile because I felt bad for killing it.

Cooking dinner for my parents.

My dad and I after I surprised him.

My dad and I at the hockey game.

Needless to say, I had a great time. I miss my parents a lot and I wish I lived closer to them. But, I'll take what I can get.

New Job

I'm loving my new job, but I can't really tell you a lot about it because of the confidentiality oath by which I am bound. But, I can tell you that I'm a government employee working for Statistics Canada. It's really a great job. I like the people that I'm working for and I'm really having a great time overall.

Thank you too all the people that left me suggestions for what to take for my meal breaks at work. I was given soup recipes and sandwich suggestions - the whole nine yards. I think that it is so amazing to be a part of such a gracious weight-loss community. I feel really honoured to be a part of it.

I think that's all I have to say for the moment. I'm going to be posting a couple of new videos to my YouTube channel, so you're more than welcome to check those out. I feel bad that I haven't been able to comment on your blogs as much as I normally do. I didn't have a chance to read my Google Reader while I was gone, and by the time I did check it it was at 486 new postings. And there's just no way I'll get to all of those any time soon. So, I just marked them all as read and decided to start fresh. I hope you all will forgive me.

See you soon!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Whirlwind

2009-09-22T09:57:00.002-06:00

I feel like I've been going at the speed of light since Friday night. Yesterday I was so exhausted I came home and went to bed after my first night of work. So far my new job seems great. I'm meeting a lot of new people, which is always a little stressful for me. But I'm taking the advice of my BearFriend and just letting people talk. People seem to really enjoy talking about themselves, so I'll just let them. Everybody wins.

I almost caved while I was at my parents' place and weighted myself. But I resisted. The suspense is killing me.

My exercise routine is absolutely pooched at the moment, but once I get a better handle on my schedule things will work themselves out. I'm not going to stress about it too much at the moment. I'm going to be doing quite a bit of walking getting to my job, so it's not like I'm not doing anything at all. Life happens, right?

I think my next obstacle will be dealing with eating while at work. I need to come up with some ideas of what I can take for lunch/dinner that are convenient and fast. I tend to be a lavish dinner eater, so this will be interesting. Last night I had soup, which was really filling but not aesthetically pleasing. I'm thinking I might do salads, which will fill me up and it will seem like there's a lot of food there. Add some grilled chicken breast and I should be set. I'll come up with a list of meal ideas later and post it.

Have I told you how much I'm in love with those Laughing Cow cheeses. They are my newest guilty pleasure (since I love cheese so much). Spreading some on melba toast... Mmmm!

I think that's all for today. I still need to unpack, do some more work on my thesis, and get ready for the rest of my day. Plus, I need to catch up on all your blogs. So much to do! I'll write a better post once I have a better grasp on things at home.

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

How I survived while visiting my parents

2009-09-20T18:02:00.002-06:00

*Warning* This post is largely going to be about food, so feel free to wait until I have a more diversified post. I won't know you didn't read it. :)

Tomorrow morning I will be flying back to Edmonton. [For all of those that asked, my hometown in Prince George, BC.] I have to say that I had an amazing time with my dad. He was so surprised to see me in the hall when he got back from the hockey game. He was actually quite flabbergasted. For about 10 seconds he just stood there and looked at me. Pretty funny.

But, wow, I have had to overcome a lot of food temptations while I was here. No matter how much I planned it seemed like fate was one step ahead of me.

Restaurants

Because I don't eat out that often anymore I am seriously lacking in being prepared for restaurants. On Saturday morning my dad suggested that we go out for breakfast, which I wasn't prepared for. I scrambled to find a few sensible breakfast options before it was time to leave. I was disappointed to find that the restaurant did not offer anything in the realm of fruit options, so I settled for cold cereal and milk, and whole wheat toast (sans butter, natch). Crisis averted. That evening, however, we ended up going to a steakhouse that has the most delicious lasagna and garlic bread. I opted to have a Mediterranean chicken (marinara sauce, spinach and feta cheese), a plain baked potato, and a tossed salad. It was delicious, but there was a part of me that felt that I was missing out because I didn't have the lasagna. Now, if I couldn't get that lasagna anywhere else I would have treated myself, but that's not the case. So, why did I feel like I needed it so badly? I was still getting delicious food, but my brain definitely wanted that lasagna. Food is definitely psychological for me.

Food at home

I only ate 3 meals at home while I was here, but they turned into another challenge. My mom threw this grandiose brunch for my dad (it was really quite lovely). But, oh my gosh, the food. Muffins, sausage, hashbrowns, fruit, pastries... The dining room was bursting with food. I had researched the points for the muffins and it worked out that each muffin was worth 6 points! (310 calories, 5g fat, 1g fiber.) And these were wee muffins. It's amazing what a little bit of research can tell you. I think I would have probably eaten 3 of those muffins and thought nothing of it usually. Yikes. So, I loaded my plate with fruit and indulged in a hashbrown (3 points).

All this effort devoted to watching my food is so tiring! When I'm at home I pretty much eat roughly the same types of things. I know how much all my foods are worth. My brain is literally hurting from all the calculations I've been doing in my head. Ugh.

Random food

One thing I did well was pack some snacks with me wherever I went. On Saturday we ended up going fishing and were on a lake for 5-6 hours. I think I might have gone mad without my little fruit bar I had brought with me. I am one of those people that gets uber cranky when I get hungry, so I'm pretty sure my foresight prevented a boat massacre.

I am definitely a planner and I feel lost without being in control of what I'm doing. Having to abide by someone else's schedule was really tough for me, but I seemingly made it through. All I want to do is go home and weigh myself, but that's not an option until after next week. Curses.

To bit or not to bite?

One thing I thought about while I was here was whether or not it's worthwhile to have a bite of something I would label as a treat (i.e. anything I wouldn't normally have on a weekly basis). My dad had popcorn at the hockey game and I wanted to stuff it into my mouth so badly! I had had 13 kernels all together, but I noticed that, at first, I picked them out one at a time. Then it became two at a time, then 3... Then I really had to stop myself from having any more. It was too much of a temptation. What do you think? Do you allow yourself a bite of something, or is it too much of a temptation?

Overall I am really pleased with how things went while I was at my parents' place. I did not get in any formal exercise, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. If I had been sitting around all day doing nothing I would, but that wasn't the case whatsoever. So, for that, I'm pleased with myself.

I will post some pictures soon (I caught a fish!) I hope you all had great weekends. I am shamefully behind on all of your blogs, so I will make time for them ASAP.

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

P.S. Thanks for all the comments on my hair, nails, etc. You really know how to make a girl blush!

Preparing and rewarding

2009-09-18T12:05:00.003-06:00

Weekend in British Columbia

Happy Friday!!! I hope you all have fun weekend plans. I am going to be heading home to British Columbia to see my dad (it's his 60th birthday!) I cannot wait.

I have decided to do most of the cooking while I'm at home. I made a meal plan for the days that I'm there and have packed some of my favourite snacks to tide me over between meals. If I'm pro-active I know that I have a better chance of succeeding. I get to cook for my dad, which is a rarity, so I'm pretty hyper about the whole trip. I'm freakin' giddy today!

I'll try and take a lot of photos.

The makeover continues

I've been making a conscious effort lately to look my best. Somewhere in high school I decided that if I was going to be fat that I would be frumpy too. I think I pretty much lived in sweatshirts and jeans until the first year of university. And while I tried to dress up for the first couple of years of university, I quickly fell back into old habits.

As such, I really missed out on those years of makeup, hair and clothing experimentation. Those years when you start to define your style. Instead, I hung out with other frumpy girls. I'm not saying that looks are what matters, but I do believe that it's a right of passage that I missed out on.

But, better late than never, right? A couple weeks ago I dyed my hair a bit darker and cut myself some sideswept bangs. Then, whenever I got a chance, I would sift through YouTube videos for hair, makeup and other beauty tips. And, every day for the past couple of weeks, I have been practicing my hair and makeup; finding what works for me and what doesn't work for me.

I have always had problem hair. I have wavy hair, which is kind of neat because I can get it to style straight or curly. However, I definitely don't have a wash-and-go kind of hair. If I just let it air dry I look like I have a lion's mane. Rawr.

So, I've been researching how to blowdry my hair and I came across something called a diffuser. If you know what I'm talking about I know it must seem ridiculous that I didn't really know how to use one or didn't even own one. Prior to this week I think I have blowdried my hair a total of 10 times in my lifetime. Not because I was lazy, but because everytime I tried it I just ended up with this huge mess. But that's because I didn't know how to do it. Good ol' YouTube showed me the error of my ways, though. Thank goodness for teenage girls and their video-making skills. I have learned so much! I tried drying my hair today with it and I think it turned out pretty great!
I didn't have any mousse, which is why it's still a little frizzy, but I picked some up today and will give it another go this weekend. And to top it all off, it only took about 15 minutes. That rocks, in my books.

Here are a few of my favourite YouTube stylists if you are interested:

AllThatGlitters21

KandeeJohnson

Miss Chevious

All three offer hair and makeup tips. Good quality tips.

Rewarding myself

I was so pleased with my results this week that I treated myself to these bad boys:

I love the look of these types of nails, but I wasn't willing to pay $40-50 every 6 weeks to maintain them. Anyway, I was at the grocery store yesterday and I asked the cashier where she got her nails done because they were really lovely. She told me that she did them herself with a nail kit from the drugstore. Quelle surprise! I immediately looked for some YouTube videos when I got home, and low and behold I learned that it was quite easy to do your own nails.

I picked up a pack of them at Wal-Mart today and I'm really happy with the results. I feel so glamorous! And all for a grand total of $9! Now every time I look at my fingernails I'm reminded of my recent successes in terms of my weight, overall health and well-being.

Well, that's it for me. I need to finish packing and get something to eat. Once I'm all packed I will reward myself with checking out your blogs. I can't wait to see what you've been up to.

Have a great weekend!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Weigh-In Results

2009-09-17T14:09:00.004-06:00

Weigh-In

And the results are in: I lost...

[insert happy dance]

I'm so so excited.

Starting weight: 260
Current weight: 233.8
Pounds lost: 26.2

This is all good news.

What I'm doing well:
- regular exercise
- eating the majority of my calories prior to 5 p.m.
- eating lots of fruit

Where I need to improve:
- 6-7 hours of sleep per night
- more vegetables
- more liquids

Only 34.8 pounds to go until I'm under 200!

YouTube video

Thanks to everyone that went and checked out my channel. You totally made my day. The only problem with doing videos is you get to see how much of a dork I truly am. Hah. Too funny. I will be posting a new video every week to track my weight loss. The new one is here should you be the least bit interested.

Hindsight is always 20/20

I was re-reading some of my posts last night and it occurred to me that I made a little bit of a gaffe when I described the woman that monopolizes my WW meeting as "the crazy British lady". I had purposely left out the fact that she was British the first time I mentioned her because I didn't think it was relevant. The fact that she is British has no bearing on the fact that she has something to say every time our leader asks a general question. But, in my attempt to provide a visual, I let it drop that she was British. So, I've decided that it was a mistake and I will be more careful in the future.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Out, out, darn scale

Why did I post a picture of my bare floor, you ask?Well, after much deliberation, I have decided to take the advice of some of my readers and not weigh myself every day. The reason being that it seems to make me a little batty. So, I asked The Tommy to hide the scale for the next week, which means that I will be going into my next weigh-in completely blind. Aaaaa! This should be interesting. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to go and weigh myself. I'm such a creature of habit.

The Tommy

Speaking of The Tommy, look what he brought home for me the other day:

Isn't he precious? I'm such a lucky girl. Not only does he put up with all my neuroses, but he's so thoughtful! And he cleans! Sigh. Such a sweetheart.

So, that's where I'm at. Slow and steady. I'm going home tomorrow for my dad's 60th birthday party, so I'm not sure how that will affect my posting over the next few days. It shouldn't, but who knows what might happen.

I am going to do some more work on my thesis and then I can check in on all your blogs! Have a great day and thanks for reading!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Workout Music

2009-09-16T13:50:00.002-06:00

Music

New workout music to share with you!!

'Til I Collapse - Eminem
Womanizer - Britney Spears
Fighter - Christina Aguilera
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf
Stronger - Kayne West
Crazy Possessive - Kaci Battaglia
Drop - Ying Yang Twins
Right Round - Flo Rida
It Happens - Sugarland

Thanks for all the suggestions I got from readers last week. I really appreciate it. Feel free to leave new music any time. I'm making new playlists every week, so I'll always be looking for suggestions.

I've decided to change my c25k days from Monday - Wednesday - Friday to Tuesday - Thursday - Saturday. I usually have things going on MWF, so I'm not sure why I ever chose those days in the first place. Sometimes I think that I just do things on autopilot without really thinking about things through. Story of my life.

Weigh In

Tonight is my weigh in, so I will post my results tomorrow. We'll see if crazy British lady is there again. I don't know why she feels the need to talk so much. It's like she just likes to hear herself talk. I'm debating if I should try and make some friends at my meeting. It's kind of weird going by myself all the time. I'm pretty shy, so going up and talking to people is not my first choice. I'm also terrible at small talk. I think because talking about inane things like the weather bore me, but it seems to be some kind of right of passage in getting to know someone. Sometimes I feel like a Klingon or something trying to make sense of strange human customs. I'd much rather get to know a person by asking them interesting questions, but that seems to make people think I'm crazy. I mean, I am crazy for the most part, but craziness seems to scare people off until they learn to find it endearing. It's totally a catch-22.

YouTube

I've been toying with the idea of making my own videos for youtube for awhile, but I actually bit the bullet and made one yesterday. It's in the process of uploading right now, so we'll see if it actually works. I've decided that it might give my readers a chance to see me in the flesh and give me another outlet for my thoughts and opinions. I think on here I can come across as quite serious and my bubbly side is somewhat hidden. I think it's because most of my writing is for academic purposes usually. I'm not sure if I'll post them here directly, what do you guys think? I'll post a link on my Twitter whenever I upload a new video, but I'm not sure if I want to overload you guys with stuff like that on my blog. You can give me your thoughts on that if you like.

Success

Last night I went out with The Tommy and the in-laws for all-you-can-eat fish and chips. Don't worry, I didn't order all you can eat. Each piece of fish is 5 points, which means I would only have one, and that kind of defeats the purpose of all-you-can eat. So, I ended up ordering a 1/4 chicken and mashed potatoes. I had checked out their menu the day before in preparation and looked up all the nutrition values of things (turned out to be quite difficult since Joey's Only only gives the nutritional values for their fish and chips. Annoying!). My food was mediocre at best, but I was fine with that. I was tempted by the fries the rest of the table orders, but I poured malt vinegar over the leftover ones so I wouldn't be tempted to pick at them. My tablemates complained that the malt vinegar stank, but oh well. I'll put up with their complaints over eating the french fries in a moment of weakness.

That's all I have. See you soon!

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

And then there was light

2009-09-15T12:32:00.002-06:00

BIG NEWS!!

Oh happy day, my dears. I am so excited to tell you all that I am finally employed.

[insert music: We are the Champions - Queen]

This is so great. I am going to be working for Statistics Canada, which is a dream job for a university student. It's like the holy grail of jobs. Plus, it keeps The Tommy from secretly wondering if he married a gold digger.

So, yay! I am so giddy right now I can barely contain myself. It is such a big weight off my shoulders.

New Look

For those of you that actually bookmark my blog instead of subscribing to it in Google Reader (or other feeds), you will notice that there is a slightly new look to my blog. I felt that my old one was too dark for my personality. I needed something bright, yet simple. So, when I was lying in bed at 4 a.m. this morning, unable to sleep, I decided to mess about with things. Hopefully it's not radical enough that it puts anyone off. Feel free to make suggestions or complain about anything your heart desires. I am always here for my readers.

Big Thank You

To all the people that regularly leave comments on my blog, as well as to my new readers. I have enjoy reading all of your suggestions and I really appreciate the encouragement you offer me. It really keeps me going on those days where I just want to give in to the sirens call of the brownie.

What's Next?

Tomorrow is my weigh-in day, so look for the results of that on Thursday. I'm not sure what kind of loss I am going to have. Mother Nature seems to be toying with me a bit, but I know that if I maintain or lose very little it's because of her and not because I haven't been doing the right things. It will all even out.

I'm going to be away this weekend as I will be flying home to surprise my Dad for his 60th birthday. I'm pretty excited about the whole thing, but I do need to start planning my food. Deal with my mother is definitely a binge trigger, so I will have to be extra diligent in mentally preparing myself. I think I will read some chapters from Shrink Yourself on the plane to get me in the right frame of mind.

I'm going to leave you with a link I came across this weekend. I can't embed the video, so you'll have to forgive me. If you despise MeMe Roth you need to watch this video. For any of you lucky souls that have no idea who this *cough*WITCH*cough* woman is, she is a vocal advocate that believes publicly shaming fat people will help them make the changes in order to be thin. You can read more about this *cough*PSYCHO*cough* woman here. Anyway, this video made me smile and I thought I would share it with you.

Healthy minds create healthy bodies

Random Thoughts and NSV

2009-09-14T13:03:00.007-06:00

I'm going to start off with something serious and then move onto more fun topics - so, bear with me.

Didn't want to be a fat bride

Over the weekend I came across this article. In a nutshell, a UK woman went on a diet called LighterLife, which restricted her to 500 calories a day. Ridiculous, you say? Well, she got approval from her doctor before going on it, and if you have the stomach to go to the LighterLife website, it promotes that their program will put you "life in balance". Anyway, after 11 weeks of being on this diet, she dropped dead. The reason she was on the diet? She didn't want to be a fat bride. This is the 3rd death related to this diet.

It got me thinking about the risks some people will take to lose weight. It also made me take a cold harsh look at what I have done in the past. One summer I attempted to see how long I could go without eating. Another year I took a cocktail of diet pills almost every day. A few times on WW I wouldn't eat for a few days trying to obtain the glorified 2 pound loss every week.

But this article has really made me think about my past behaviour towards weight loss. It really comes down to an imbalance in reward vs. risk. At the time, I would do anything to be thin (note: I don't equate being thin with being healthy). I would starve myself, or ingest potentially toxic combinations of chemicals in an effort to achieve the reward of being thin. However, I realize now that I never took into consideration the risk I was taking.

I applaud those that are willing to put in the hard work to lead a healthy lifestyle. Those not looking for quick fixes. I'm working really hard to be that type of person. Weight, I've decided, is just not worth risking my life over.

Running

I think I have a perfect segway into updating you on my c25k. I completed week 2 last night (as you can see from the picture below.
I'm pretty excited to be starting week 3 tomorrow. I never got past week three last time, so I'm really anxious to prove to myself that I can. Bring it on!

I need to work on a new workout mix today, but luckily I'm armed with some great suggestions from earlier this week. Should be a snap!

I've been running outside, which has been quite interesting. While running the other night I made a little list of pros and cons of running outside.

Pros

I don't have to run next to some 93 lb girl on the treadmill next to me
The only person that can hear me wheezing is me
If I run at night no one can see how tomato red my face is
There's often a cool breeze to cool me down
I'm not staring at a wall/TV I don't want to watch/other people
If I fall there's no one there to laugh at me

Cons

I have to put up with a neighbourhood cat that likes to jump out and scare me
I have to run past creepy vans that look like ones I've seen in Law and Order: SVU
I tend to run the same route, which leaves me open for assassination
Uneven sidewalks tempt my clumsiness
There's no bathrooms in close proximity
If I fall there's no one to help me

But, I think in my case, the pros outweigh the cons. Until it gets cold.

Watch me shrink

The dark blue pants are ones I've been wearing for the past two months. But, finally, they are too big. So, I went and picked up the light blue ones this weekend. I've shrunk two sizes! Yay!

I have to say that Value Village is a shrinking person's best friend. I picked those jeans up for $3.99. Bargain! That's one thing I love about girls: some of them barely wear their clothes. These jeans are practically brand new. What a find. :)

Alright, I'm sore as heck from kickboxing so I think I'll do some light exercise to loosen me up. The Tommy got a couple of Zumba DVDs for me and I think learning the basics would be a good way to warm up my muscles and stretch them out a bit.

Then I will be free to catch up on all your blogs!

Have a wonderful day!

Honey Mustard Chicken Salad Recipe

2009-09-12T15:52:00.003-06:00

I found this recipe in a Quick and Healthy magazine I picked up at Value Village. (I tried finding a website for the magazine, but it may be defunct). It was in the section "Mayo Salads go low-fat" and I was excited to try it. I don't keep a lot of bottled salad dressings in my place because I often don't like them, so I was pleasantly surprised at the delicate taste of this dressing.

Honey Mustard Chicken Salad (Serves 4)

1/2 cup fat-free mayo (I actually used light mayo. I have the points to do so at the moment)

2 t honey

2 t spicy brown mustard

1/2 t black pepper

1 celery stalk

lettuce (I bought one of those ready to eat romaine lettuce bags)

1 apple, thinly sliced

2 c cooked chicken breast (I bought a package of stir-fry strips and stir-fried them in a little bit of canola oil)

Dressing: whisk mayo, honey, mustard and pepper together in a small bowl.

Salad: Combine chicken and celery. Mix in dressing. Serve over lettuce leaves. Garnish with apples.

250 Calories (with fat-free mayo)

4.4 g of fat

1.2 g fiber

5 points

You can play around with how much honey and mustard you add to get a richer flavour (well, I will, anyway), but it's really a lovely summer salad. It's a good way to use up leftover chicken and really simple to make.

Weigh-in Results

2009-09-10T14:42:00.003-06:00

And my weigh-in results from last night...

Starting weight: 260

Current weight: 235.8

Total lost: 24.2

Pounds until I'm under 200: 36.8

Yay :) In the past 5 weeks I have lost an average of 3 pounds per week, which is great. I need to stop stressing so much and just focus on doing the right things. I'm going to be focusing on eating the majority of my points prior to 5 o'clock. I mentioned this the other day, but I really think it's key. I can't be 50-50 (50 before 5 and 50 after five) or even 40-60 on some days. It's just not beneficial since I'm more sedentary in the evenings. I need to keep in mind that food is fuel for my body. Sometimes I forget that since I've been using food as recreation for so long.

Oooo... I was going to tell you about my newest guilty pleasure. It's this show called Dating in the Dark. Basically, 3 guys and 3 girls go on dates (sometimes group dates, sometimes one-on-one dates), but they never get to see each other. It's all completely in the dark. That sounds stupid, you say? That's what I said too! But, it actually has some interesting outcomes. It forces people to decide how much personality and looks plays into their attraction to someone. I've only seen 2 episodes, but I've been pleasantly surprised with both of them.

That's all I have from the crazy world of Natasha. I pushed my run until tonight since it was too dark by the time I finished everything I had to do yesterday. See you all tomorrow!

An apology and random neurotic-ness

2009-09-09T13:54:00.003-06:00

Okay, a bunch of you left wonderful suggestions in my comments for workout music yesterday, so thank you very much! I will definitely add them to my workout mixes over the next couple of weeks.

Speaking of comments, as I was exploring my blogger dashboard last night I discovered a bunch of comments on my posts that I never read. I came to the realization that if people commented on a post that was a few days old I had no way of knowing that they did. Which poses a problem since I like to repay the people who took the time to comment on my blog. So, I'm a little sad that there have been a few wonderful comments that I didn't read and didn't acknowledge! (Christy especially). Yikes. So, I'm sorry if I seemingly ignored your comment. It truly wasn't intentional. I have rigged it so when people leave comments I will get an e-mail sent to me. That should hopefully fix the problem. I've been guilty of bad blog etiquette and I apologize.

With that said, I've noticed that my eating habits have been less than stellar. Not that I'm eating junk or binge eating, but that I'm doing most of my eating in the afternoon/evening. I've decided to start making an effort to eat 75% of my food prior to 5 p.m.. Should be interesting.

The other thing I'm noticing right now is this rollercoaster that I'm on in regards to Weight Watchers. One thing I liked about the program was the structure - the main reason I joined again. However, I feel a lot of pressure to lose weight every week. The stress is compounded because I weight myself every morning. If I'm not losing a little bit every day I get stressed out somewhat. And even though I know logically that my weight will fluctuate I still panic. Which makes my week go like this:

Wednesday: lose weight, feel happy

Thursday: weigh the same, feel 'whatever'

Friday: weigh the same, "hmmm....what's going on?"

Saturday: gain weight," that's okay, I ate my flex points last week"

Sunday: still shows a gain, feel a little stressed

Monday: still shows a gain, "what the $*@&#"

Tuesday: little bit of a loss, "Is it going to be enough?"

Wednesday: shows a 1- to 2-pound loss, feel relieved.

Isn't that messed up? It's like the logical side of my brain - who knows that if I stay on plan that I should lose weight regardless of minor fluctuations - is in a battle with Ms. Sabotage for brain supremacy. I can hear fight music in my head. I find it odd that I can be so neurotic about my weight even though I have logical information about it: weight fluctuates. Deal.

Tonight is my weigh-in night, so I will post the results tomorrow. Tonight is also day 2 of week 2 in my c25k plan. I haven't gotten an ipod holder yet, Sarah, so there's may be more underwear hilarity.

Oooo... and I picked up a few cookbooks on the weekend and will be trying out a few recipes from them soon. I will share them if any of you are interested in that sort of thing.

Workout Music

2009-09-08T12:22:00.002-06:00

I have to share with you the hilarity that is me running (I started week 2 of the c25k yesterday). I've never been one of those people that has to get all the 'gear' when I try out new things. Meaning, I didn't buy out the Running Room in order to start running. I bought a good pair of running shoes and that was it. Why does this matter? Well, the pants that I wear running don't have a pouch for my ipod, so I've just been sticking it in my underwear. Classy, I know. But yesterday I made the mistake of wear those boyshorts underneath and my ipod slipped out mid interval. So there I am, jogging down the street with my hands in my pants, fishing around for my ipod. Good thing I run at night, or I'm sure I'd be up on some idiotrunners.org site.

Also, if any of you are looking to mix up your workout music, here's my music list at the moment. I'm always curious to what other people are listening to, so feel free to leave me a comment with the songs that get you pumping.

Lose Yourself - Eminem

Boom Boom Boom - Jock Jams

Blister in the Sun - Voilent Femmes

Lip Gloss - Lil Mama

Milkshake - Kelis

Whine Up - Kat DeLuna

The Hey Song - Jock Jams

Mambo #5 - Lou Bega

Trick Me - Kelis

I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson

Enter Sandman - Metallica

Sandstorm - Darude

Snake - RKelly

Alright, I'm going to go catch up on your blogs. Have a wonderful day!

2009-09-07T12:21:00.002-06:00

I need to start blogging more on the weekends! I have so much to tell you all that I don't know if I should break it into a bunch of different posts, or just leave it as a giant post. Hmmm. Let me know if you think this one is too long and I'll break them up next time. Compromise is my middle name.

The weekend started off with a screening of Brüno and District 9. I felt that Brüno missed its mark, but District 9 exceeded all of my expectations (that's because I love movies with social commentary in them). But, it's a good action-y flick too.

The next day was awesome because I got to spend the day shopping!!! I bought a lot of stuff, but I wanted to share with you my ultimate find. I've been looking for a way to organize my jewelry at least six months, but haven't had much luck. So, when I came across this beauty I couldn't leave with out it.

I know you can't see it all that well, but it looks like a miniature dresser. And it's a black-brown, which matches my bedroom furniture splendidly. It has drawers down the front for bracelets and miscellaneous jewelry, two doors on the side that open out for necklaces, and a flip up lid for my rings and earrings!

Now my jewelry is all organized, and I couldn't be happier!

The other thing I did this weekend was give myself a little makeover. I noticed that I had been doing a lot of work on my inner self - which is most important part, I know - but I thought that it would be beneficial to have a little fun with my outer looks.

Now, I have to admit that I've never been one to spend hours doing my hair or makeup. Not because I didn't necessarily want to, but somehow I missed out on that part of life where you spend hours as a teenager playing with your looks. I'm not exactly sure why I missed out, but I did. As such, I will do a little makeup now and again and tinker with my hair, but I never had much luck with it and often looked and felt like an idiot.

But, with the invention of youtube, almost every question I could ever imagine has an answer pretty much at my finger tips. How to properly curl my hair (so simple!), how to shape my eyebrows (no longer need to pay $20 a month for that), how to get flawless skin, and how to get perfect eye makeup. I love it.

So, that's what I did the majority of last night: I shaped my eyebrows, practiced curling my hair, dyed my locks a darker brown and practiced my makeup. The finished result:

Not too shabby.

And last, but not least, a picture from after my 'run' last night. I managed to convince myself to go out in the blustery winds, so that's why my hair looks all crazy.

Today I'm starting week 2 of the c25k. I had tried in June to do it, but, as many of you know, I fell off the wagon hardcore. This time I'm making my own running mixes that tell me when to start and finish. I seem to have more fun when I'm pounding the pavement to my own music. With that said, I need t go an make my mix for week 2 before The Tommy decides he wants to play on his computer. And after that I'll go catch up on all your blogs.

Happy Monday!

Oh, and is the post too long, do you think?

Updated Blogroll

2009-09-05T12:10:00.003-06:00

Yikes! I took a look at my blogroll the other day and it was WAY out of date. I spent the past couple of days weeding out the blogs that no longer exist, have been abandoned, or blogs I no longer read.

But the worst thing about not updating my blogroll for so long was that I wasn't showcasing some of the AMAZING blogs that I have come across in recent months. In no particular order, here are some of my new favourite blogs to read:

Every Gym's Nightmare
Fat Daddy Rants
Follow the Fat Girl
Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit
Ex-Hot Girl
From 12 to 6
Lindsay: Under Construction
Operation Size 8
Shedding my Fat Suit
Skinny Me...coming soon
Syl's Weight Loss Journey
Tony "The Anti-Jared" Posnanski
Who Ate my Blog?

Now, if I've commented on your site recently and you don't see your name up here that is an oversight on my part. Please send me a comment or an e-mail - something like, "Hey gorgeous, where's my blog?", and I will rectify the mistake post-haste.

If you haven't read any of these blogs before, DO IT NOW! They are fabulous. And, believe me, I only promote the best. I have ridiculously high standards. So, do it. DO IT NOW!

Friday already?

2009-09-04T12:43:00.002-06:00

Geez! Where did my week go?

I've spent the morning typing up my outline for my chapter on obesity treatment. For any of you that are new to my blog, I am doing my masters in history. My topic is obesity diagnosis, prognosis and treatment from 1977 to 1991. I'm meeting with my supervisor today to go over what I've already written for this chapter and how I see it unfolding. It's kind of stressful to have someone critique your intellectual thoughts, I must admit.

I thought I would share a study that I came across with you all and get your thoughts and opinions about the findings. Whenever I've asked for feedback in the past you have all come through for me quite impressively.

So here goes:

The study in a nutshell was a follow-up on patients that were able to maintain their weight loss for three years. One of the questions the researchers asked was, "Would you exchange your handicap [of being obese] for another handicap?" The options were: being required to wear a hearing aid, having one leg amputated, or being legally blind.

All of the participants (save one) voted that they would rather have on of these handicaps than to be obese. Which means that they would rather have a leg amputated than be obese.

Wow.

These findings reminded me of this excellent book I read called Fat: A Fate Worse than Death? If you have a chance to pick it up, you should. It's quite enlightening.

What do you think about this? If someone called you up and asked you if you could be skinny tomorrow in exchange for being legally blind, would you do it? What would you give up to be skinny, if anything? A pinky finger? Sense of smell?

Or, for you, are those things worse than being fat?

I know, I know - heavy topic for a Friday. But it was on my mind and I thought I would share it with you anyways.

Alright, I'll leave you with something funny to balance out the seriousness. Happy Friday!!!

2009-09-03T14:02:00.002-06:00

And my weigh-in results from last night:

Yay :) I'm within 9 pounds of my pre-two-month-binge weight. Woohoo. Once I'm there I'll start posting progress pictures again.

And a big shout out to Monica, Lindsay and Christy for giving me this award.

Aww! You guys make me blush. If you haven't checked out their blogs, you really should. Thank you very much, ladies!

And last but not least, here's a picture of my sweaty face.

I went for a 'run' (week one of c25k) and this guy that was standing in his driveway gave me a 'good-for-you' smile as I ran by, which I thought was kind of sweet. Don't mind the hair. I'm not exactly sure what happened there.

Alright. A quick post today since I've been writing mammoth ones lately. Give all you guys a break. I'm off to catch up on all your blogs!

Healthy?

2009-09-02T10:38:00.003-06:00

I know I've talked about this before, but it's still a pet peeve of mine.

The Tommy pointed this product out to me in the grocery store:

It reads "I.M. Healthy" (I know it's a little blurry. Courtesy of my camera phone).

Now, I know that it's tongue in cheek, but I honestly think that it's part of a bigger problem of companies finding a way to make all food seem like a healthy choice.

I see it everywhere. Kraft Dinner labels their macaroni as "Sensible" because it is a "source of calcium." Yeah... from the milk you out in it!

And candy labels itself as "low fat/fat free". So? There's still 133 calories and a 3 1/2 teaspoons of sugar for ever 4 pieces of licorice that you eat. Does it matter that it's low fat/fat free?
And then I start to think about other clever ways they try and make us think things are healthy. Organic cookies are still cookies. Vegan cupcakes are still cupcakes!

And I know that you can argue that people know that candy isn't healthy for them. Fair enough. However, I will argue that the re-packaging things as a 'better choice' is still misleading. Whole grain Lucky Charms are still Lucky Charms.

What do you think of this issue? Am I out to lunch? What are some of the products you see re-making themselves as 'better choices'?

Finding exercise I enjoy

2009-09-01T14:22:00.005-06:00

So, I made it a resolution to be more honest on my blog. Write about the high points and the low points. This post will be kind of a mixture of the two.

If you don't already know, I go to kickboxing every Sunday morning. My husband was kind enough to go with me, because, honestly, I know I wouldn't have signed up if I had to go alone. And, kickboxing has been really good. I really like the class and the instructor is brutal but effective.

This past Sunday was a first for me because The Tommy was out of town partying it up with his friends. Which meant that I had to go to kickboxing by myself. It didn't seem like a big deal until the night before when I had this weird flashback to high school. The Tommy is usually my partner when we need to pair up in class; and now he wasn't going to be there. All the memories of being the fat girl in gym class flooded back to me. Being the last one picked, or having to pair up with the teacher. Ugh. High school gym was a terrible experience for me. I think many of you have been there, so I won't go into great detail.

So, there I am: 28 years old and debating not going to a class that I have paid for because I didn't want to be the odd girl out. It's amazing how much my past haunts me still.

But a strange thing happened.

Sunday morning I woke up well before my alarm and there was a voice nagging at me to go to kickboxing. It wasn't my inner critic, Ms. Sabotage; it was someone new. It was a polite voice that encouraged me to get out of bed and go to class, because deep down I really wanted to.

"But what about being alone?" I asked.
"No bother," she said. "You're strong enough."

I grabbed my stuff and made it to class on time. And, you know what? I had fun. I was paired up with a friendly enough girl, and even though I held us up when we had to run stairs, I excelled in other areas and gave us a boost. Well, I'll be. How encouraging.

I know part of the key to this success is finding exercise that I enjoy. I know that I won't be one of those people that can run on a treadmill for an hour straight. I mean, that's great for them, but not for me. Kickboxing has shown me that I will show up every week if it's something I like doing.

So, yesterday while I was shopping I picked up this delightful DVD:
I was very excited to try it out today, because I love, love, love dancing. I want to check out a Zumba class in the near future, but that will have to wait until I get my work situation decided.

Anyway, the DVD rocks. And it kicked my butt! Look!
It's a tough workout! I titled my head so you can see the sweat on my chin. I know, I know. But if I don't show you my sweat, how do you know I've been working hard?

I have to tell you a funny story about that DVD. I was on my way to the restrooms while I was shopping and had seen the DVD on display and made a mental note to grab it on my way back. However, when I went to retrieve it, it was gone! I searched through the whole display looking for it, but couldn't find any other copies. Then I walked around the DVD section trying to find more, only to be disappointed. Son of a b*tch! I really had my heart set on it since I read about it in SHAPE, so I decided to find another DVD similar to it. After about 10 min I had decided on one and went to find The Tommy. When I walked up to our basket he pulled out the Hip Hop DVD and grins: "I found this for you!" Too funny.

And just in case I haven't grossed you out enough, here's my sweaty face from yesterday. More proof that I'm working my butt off.
Tomorrow I'm going to rant about something The Tommy pointed out to me in the grocery store yesterday. Until then, have an awesome day!

The Bad, the Good, and the Awesome

2009-08-31T11:16:00.005-06:00

I hope you all had a good weekend! Mine was a mixture of the bad, the good, and the awesome.

Starting with the bad:

My husband went with his friends out to a cabin for the night, which left me home alone. I had sniffed around for something to do with my friends, but they were all busy with weddings, or just had plans already. No big deal, right? I'll spend the night by myself.

Well, everything was all fine and dandy until about 11 p.m.. And then it was like some demon took over my body; a hungry demon. First is was popcorn, then crackers, then pasta! Ack! It's like I couldn't get the food into my mouth fast enough.

But, something good happened. I was able to recognize the behaviour as emotional eating while it was happening. I haven't been able to do that before. So, although the popcorn, crackers and pasta were not great, it would have been much worse had I not recognized what was happening. I mean, there was thoughts of ordering pizza, going out for fast food, etc.. But that didn't happen. Even though I lose control, I was able to calm myself down to a point where I stopped eating.

So, yay! That excites me greatly.

And the awesome:

There are a couple of things, actually.

First, I was able to silence my inner critic. After my binge the voice in my head started mouthing off:
"You're a failure. No wonder you gained back all that weight in June and July. You're never going to lose this weight." And so on. Not only did I not listen to her, I talked back! I told her that my binge wasn't as bad as it could have been and that I needn't be so hard on myself. I'll bounce back.

Secondly, I recognized what was happening, which is a good step in dealing with my emotional eating. I recognized that I was lonely and bored. I was disappointed with how my day was going and I tried to rectify that by eating. Now I know that in the future I will act differently. So, take that, inner critic!

She's such a b*tch.

I have more to tell you all about the weekend, but I'll leave that for tomorrow's post. I have to go catch up on what everyone else did this weekend.

Chocolate: Women's Food

2009-08-28T12:29:00.003-06:00

I don't really have a lot to say today, so I thought I'd share one of my favourite Sarah Haskins videos with you. She's a comedian who makes light of how products are marketed to women. Enjoy! And happy Friday!

Weigh-In and random thoughts

2009-08-27T12:28:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was my weigh in and the result was:

-2.4!

I've lost 10 of the 25 pounds that I pack on over the summer. Sweet. Take that, weight!

I really like the meeting I'm going to. But I do have one complaint. And I should preface this with a little honesty: I have a lot of rules. People don't know my rules, but I still expect them to follow them. I can't stand people who: don't use signals, cut in front even though they know there's a line, don't say "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you" - the list goes on and on. I realize that I have a lot of rules. But, for the love of pete, why do some WW people feel the need to talk for 5 min when a leader asks a general question? And not just once, but EVERY SINGLE TIME they can. There was this woman at my meeting last night that would NOT shut up. She had something to say about everything. And in the most pretentious voice I have ever heard (save this one lunatic that I must tell you all about sometime). What possesses people to do this? Like, honestly.

I have a lot of rants in me lately.

Moving on.

I want to tell you about something I've caught myself doing lately. I look at other overweight people and gauge if they are the same weight as I am. And then I try and decide if that's what I look like. Isn't that just the sickest/most pathetic thing you've heard of? I have no idea why I do this. It's like this weird compulsion I have as of late. I really need to stop doing it. I'm sure one day one of these girls is going to punch me in the nose.

More random thoughts.

One thing I know I need to focus on right now is not eating fast. It's like I'm Jabba the Hutt right now, or something. I just unhinge my jaw and let food roll down the hatch. Chewing, schmewing.
I don't know why I'm eating so fast. Maybe out of habit? So, yeah; gonna try and slow down this week.

And for any of you that use twitter, I'm finally getting into it and would love to "twitter" all of you other twitterers. That's right. That's what I said. You can find me under creatingnatasha. I had another one going, but it was under my full name and my husband will skewer me if I give out any more personal information. He's always looking out for my well-being, which is good if you remember the burner-pan incident.

Alright, enough of my rambling. In closing, here's what 240.6 looks on me:
I'm not sure why I look a little dopey, but there ya go. Have a fantastic day. :)

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, you get have to take the first step" - Martin Luther King, Jr.

2009-08-26T07:37:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I was itching to go out and do something. So, I decided to head over to the bookstore and browse for a new book. Of course, I ended up with an arm full of cookbooks, but that wasn't really what I was in the mood for, so I put them down and mentally added them to my Christmas wish list. Oh! Can I complain about the fact that my bookstore took out all its comfy chairs and replaced them with uncomfortable ones? I mean, what the heck? I was so excited to be able to go in there and flip through a couple of books before deciding what I would get, only to be disappointed. It's like the bookstore flipped me the bird. End rant.

Anyway, right before closing I stumbled upon this book:

It basically screamed at me, "Buy me! Buy me!" So, I did.

I took it home, climbed into bed and cracked it open. The first chapter was about perfection and how the need to be perfect often leads to procrastination. It was like looking in a mirror. I felt like a hand reached out of the book and gave me a good slap across the face.

I have recently discovered my need to be perfect was sabotaging my weight loss efforts and had copied this list out of a book I was reading and posted it in my bathroom. But it finally feels like other parts of the puzzle are finally coming together for me as well.

When I started this blog it wasn't just a blog about weight loss, but also "finding myself," which I then changed to creating myself because I didn't really think *I* existed. I felt like I really didn't understand who I was deep down in side. More like a parrot - mimicking the behaviour of others. I'm finally coming to realize that my need to be perfect is really hindering me in more ways than just weight loss. It keeps me isolated because I don't want to ask for help. I mean, I disappeared from the blog world from June to August because I didn't want to admit that I was struggling. Striving to be perfect also means that if my day doesn't go as planned that I will scold myself and not do anything because the day didn't happen exactly as I had wanted. It may sound silly, but it's totally true in my case.

I feel like I'm rambling here, but what I'm really getting at is that I was really onto something when I started this blog and I need to keep that in mind at all times. My purpose right now isn't just about losing weight, but discovering and recreating myself into the person that I need and want to become. I feel like being a 'fat girl' has been my self-imposed identity for so long that I'm missing the bigger picture. I can't look at weight loss as my cure-all for everything. Being thinner won't magically improve everything, and I need to take other steps to ensure that I am improving my overall quality of life.

So, I'm thankful that I stumbled upon this book, because it reminded me of why I started this blog in the first place.

Tonight is my WW meeting, so you can expect an update tomorrow about how I did. Happy Wednesday!

Quick and Dirty

2009-08-25T16:51:00.002-06:00

Thank you for all the suggestions from everyone on how to get motivated. Monica shared with me a post that she wrote and it got me thinking. Just do it. I gained weight? So what? I'm starting over in some aspects. Suck it up. It reminded me of this clip from the Emperor's New Groove.

I have 44 pounds to lose before I'm under 200 pounds. Is it going to be hard? Yep. Will there be obstacles? Most likely. Bring it on.

Finding ways to be excited

2009-08-24T15:08:00.002-06:00

So, I've been struggling to get below 200 pounds for 3 years. I've been as close as 202 and as far away as 260. I've been hovering in between those two numbers for 3 years! As you can imagine, it's really hard for me to get excited about losing weight when I've been losing the same weight over and over again. I keep telling myself that this will be the last time that I'm in the 240s (I'm almost out of them again), but there's that little nagging voice that keeps telling me, "Yeah, I've heard that before."

I'm struggling with how to get excited. I feel like I won't get excited again until I'm in the 210s again, since it's been awhile that I've been at that weight. But that's 30 pounds from now. I need to get excited now in order to keep my motivation. But how? It's really frustrating.

Don't worry, this post won't be all melancholy. I went an re-registered for another kickboxing session (this will be my third set of classes), and on the way back I took a long detour. I ended up clocking 3 km! Yay. I was so proud that I thought I'd share my little map with you. I know, I know, I'm a total dork.

It was perfect walking weather. Just a little bit of a breeze, but the sun was still shining. And it was just me out walking, so I didn't have to worry about other people competing with me for sidewalk space.
And - in tradition with yesterday's post - here's more picture proof that I'm building heathy habits: another picture of my sweaty face. Ta-Da! I know that you're all exceptionally excited to see sweaty pictures of me. Don't deny it. ;)
Regardless, I am proud of myself. It was a good idea since I was so sore from kickboxing this morning. My legs protested a bit ("Hey brain, what the hell are you trying to do to us?"), but it they definitely feel better now than they did earlier.

And just in case you didn't already think I was a complete goofball, look what I did to my baking sheet!
Ack! That big circle is from the burner that I accidently turned on. Good thing the Tommy was paying attention or I might have burned the house down! Focus, Natasha!

Wednesday is my first weigh in at my WW meeting, so I'll be keeping a close eye on what I'm eating over the next couple of days. Yogurt is calling my name at the moment, so I will now be on my way. Happy Monday!

It's Sunday already?

2009-08-23T16:18:00.003-06:00

Wow... where did my weekend go?

I've been so busy! I had a meeting with my thesis supervisor (the best supervisor ever!) on Friday morning, which meant a trip to the University. I don't live that close to the University, so I try to avoid going there as much as possible. Plus, they charge $1.65 per half hour of parking, and they force you to pay a $11.40 deposit upfront. Yeah, like I have that kind of money to throw around. But, I did have a great talk with my supervisor, Dr. Awesome (not her real name, obviously), about my thesis. We're going to meet every three weeks and get down to business about turning my writings into an actual academic paper. Yay.

Even though I don't go to the University that often, I do enjoy being there. It's really pretty this time of year. I thought I'd share with you all one of my favourite areas of campus. Isn't it fabulous?

I love that there's very few students here too. It's so much more peaceful. Soon it will be filled with hopeful freshmen. So cute. Anyway, moving on.

Later that day I had an interview with the Federal Government, which is a huge deal for me. It's the dream of all Arts students to one day work for the government. We are like little bureaucrats in the making. Anyway, I had a successful interview and was granted a third (and hopefully the last) interview September 2nd. Yay!

Saturday is always an awesome day because I get to spend it with my wonderful husband. We clear out our schedules and spend the whole day together. It's so wonderful. Isn't he adorable? I am going to pay dearly for posting this picture, but this is one of the many reasons I love him. He's just a big kid - and I love him for it. Plus, he's such a cutie. Aww! I saw this shirt while we were on holidays and I forced him to buy it. It makes me giggle with glee.

Focus, Natasha. Right, my weekend. We went to a few garage sales (where I picked up two great cookbooks) and ran a couple of errands. I bought new shoes! Aren't they darling?

I love shopping. The weekend is great for that. Plus, I get to try out fun recipes on the weekend. This week was homemade burgers and fries for dinner, and calzones (with homemade dough) for lunch. I've been on the search for a great burger recipe for awhile, and I think I finally found it. I recently picked up an America's Test Kitchen magazine (Cooking for Two) and it has some delectable recipes in it. The burgers didn't disappoint. The secret is grinding your own meat. Makes a WORLD of difference.

And finally, Sunday. Sunday is a mixed blessing. From 10:30 a.m. until 12 p.m. every Sunday I face voluntary torture via a kickboxing class. Our instructor enjoys dishing out ridiculous amounts of punishment to his students. The bane of my existence is star jumps. It's basically leap frog, but you're not leaping over anyone. And he makes you do them across a room, back and forth. I tried to find a youtube video/article to give you an idea of what they are, but I couldn't find anything that was that close. So, just go with the leap frog analogy. But, I really love that it's an all over body workout. And, my roundhouse kicks finally have some power behind them! So, yay!

Check out my red, sweaty face! I feel really good after the whole ordeal is over, but it's definitely punishing. The Tommy laughed at me while I was taking this picture.

The Tommy: "Is that going on your blog?"

Me: "Yes!"

The Tommy: "You're so cute."

Me: "Knock it off."

I have to share my sweaty face with you all. It's proof that I'm doing stuff. :) Right?

Whew, that was a lot! I'm off to read all your blogs. Thanks for reading!

I love love love Thursdays

2009-08-21T12:46:00.004-06:00

Why do I love Thursdays? Because it's FARMER'S MARKET DAY! I love love love going to the farmer's markets. Mmmm... Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.

There's this great market about a 5-10 min walk from my house. It's not a huge market, but there's tons of fabulous stuff there. I have included some photos I took while I was there to share with you all.

Okay, so the first one, which should come up on the left is a picture of the whole market. Just to give you an idea of what it looks like. There's was a lot of people there yesterday. Cars were lined up all over the place trying to get in. I'm not going to lie, I was a little smug about having walked over. I didn't need to fight for a parking spot and I got a quick walk in too. Bonus!

The woman pictured on the right here kept budding in front of everyone. I wanted to get a better picture of her, but I also didn't want to provoke an old lady ass-kicking, so I kept my distance. I just can't believe some people's children. I mean, is it too much to ask to wait your turn? Seriously. Anyway, moving on...

Below is a picture that I could just eat! Mmm... I wanted to buy everything at this table. MMM!!!!!

Okay, just so you know, I have very little self-control at times. And when I saw this bucket of strawberries I picked it up and threw money at the seller. I could have paid $100 for this bucket of strawberries and I wouldn't know. And so worth it! They taste so much better than the ones I've bought at the grocery store. There's a level of sweetness to them that is undeniably amazing.

But, why the hell did I buy so much?!?!?! I put the can of Campbell's soup next to the bucket so that you would be able to understand the absolute absurdity it was for me to buy so much. I divided them up into containers, but I still have a ton left over. I'm thinking of freezing some of them and making smoothies. And, I think I might also make some sinfully delicious dessert with them. More to come on their fate later. What would you do with them? I'd be curious to hear what my fellow bloggers would do with a pail of strawberries.

Finally, the last reason I love Thursdays is because I have the house to myself from 8 until midnight. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but can be quite the clown. And whenever I do "girlie things" like mud masks he feels the urge to make a joke about it. Granted, they are always hilarious, but I also love being able to do it in peace. So, Thursday nights are my spa night. I throw on a facial, soak in the tub with my favourite bath salts and - as you can see from the picture - a glass of wine. So, cheers to all the people who read my blog! You are the best people around!

Trying to find a meeting

2009-08-20T12:58:00.003-06:00

I told you all earlier that I had decided to rejoin WW. But, I promised myself that, this time, I would find a leader who would inspire me.

The first meeting I went to (where I signed up) was led by an older lady who had trouble keeping track of what she was talking about. She would start out discussing teaspoons and end up discussing tablespoons (without meaning to). She seemed to have trouble focusing on what she was saying and would jump all over the place, never really finishing a thought. Also, her weight loss was at the lower end of the scale (32 pounds). Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she didn't have to work hard to lose that weight, but I'm going to have to lose 100+ pounds to reach my goal, so I'd like to find someone that has lost roughly the same amount.

Second meeting was Saturday morning and it was a little better. The leader was nice and knowledgeable, but I just didn't feel that connection with her. Nothing wrong with her, but not for me. The group of people seemed a bit ... off, as well. I felt like I was in some kind of remedial class.

Last night I decided to try a evening meeting, which I have avoided in the past but thought I should try going anyway. And ... I found her! A great leader. She's young, stylish and fun. She made me laugh out loud 3 times and even talked about drinking. Score! I went and talked to her afterwards and she is just so spunky and adorable. So, I've decided that Wednesday evenings are going to be my weigh-in night. But that leaves me with a little dilemma of what to eat that day. I'm so used to going to an early weigh-in. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

So, this is me very excited about finding a leader I like. Yay!

When I feel like complaining...

2009-08-19T21:50:00.001-06:00

...I'll just watch this video.

Super Woman -- Kiera Brinkley, Quadruple Amputee Dancer

Shared via AddThis

Posted next to my mirror

2009-08-19T15:05:00.002-06:00

It's okay to have limitations
I can't expect to know everything
I can't control every situation
I can't expect to perfectly control myself
I can't expect to perform perfectly
No one is perfect
Just because I can't do something right doesn't mean I can't do anything right
Just because I made mistakes in the past doesn't mean I won't do things better in the future. It's okay to have limitations.

It's time to let go of my unrealistic expectations of being perfect.

I'm going to chicken hell

2009-08-18T18:46:00.002-06:00

My mother-in-law gave me a few cooking magazines (she knows I have a weakness for them) and I found a recipe for Cornish Hens in a Fine Herb Sauce. The picture looked so good that I had to give it a go. I had had much success when I attempted cooking a whole chicken (even though I broke his back), so I was feeling pretty confident that I could deal with mini-chickens.

I defrosted the wee hens in my fridge overnight and decided to tackle preparing them late this afternoon. I whipped out the recipe and went to work.

"With a pair of kitchen shears, cut out the backbone of the chicken."

I don't know what the backbone was exactly, but I figured if I put the chicken in an upright position I could figure it out. I'm sure if someone had walked into my kitchen it would have looked like I was putting on a marionette show with chicken corpses, which is the first reason I am going to chicken hell. Nevertheless, I found the backbone and went to work.

I must interject and tell you that I have never been one for getting dirty. I was never the kid that came back all muddy. In fact, my mother would delight in telling you when I was a toddler I would walk up to her with my hands out and say, "Ucky" - wanting her to clean my hands. So, it's not a surprise that I was quite horrified when I had to deal with this backbone nonsense. I'm used to my chicken coming pre-packaged and in bits. Having to dismember a chicken myself left me feeling a little sadistic. Especially when I heard its bones breaking. Ugh. I am going to chicken hell.

Regardless, after a little elbow grease I had Huey, Dewey and Louie ready to go. And after a little poaching and broiling, I added some white wine (some for the recipe, some for me, some for the recipe...) and TA-DA! I had made cornish hens for the first time. They were DELICIOUS!

I'm presently looking up how to make chicken stock because I still have chicken carcasses left over. Another reason why I'm going to chicken hell. At least it was worth it. Mmm.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

2009-08-17T16:50:00.002-06:00

I want to start off by thanking all the wonderful people that sent me supportive e-mails and comments. I hope you know how much that meant to me. I've come to realize that instead of being honest about times when I'm feeling blue, I just retreat. I have this 'if-i'm-not-perfect-i'm-nothing' complex. I really need to get over it. I know that the people that read my blog aren't here to judge me, but to help me. Why do I have such a problem accepting that? Anyway, I'm not going to lament about the pounds gained and about the time lost anymore. I just need to keep plugging ahead. I'm sure my sass will return eventually.

I've decided to join Weight Watchers again. I have a somewhat love-hate relationship with WW, but I also know that I need some structure in my life. Structure has always yielded great results from me. I'm in the search of the right leader for me, which means going to a bunch of different meetings. I'm sure I'll find a leader that works for me eventually.

The Tommy has arrived home and is complaining of soreness, so I will be the good wife and go give him a massage. Thanks for sticking by me through my mishaps.

Just... sigh...

2009-08-16T16:38:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry I haven't been around, I've been having a rough time. I completely broke down emotionally, somewhat. The stress of losing my thesis work really hit me hard. And now... I don't even want to talk about what happened in the past couple of months. It's really quite horrendous. But, I've only failed if I've quit, right? Still, it feels like I've failed, regardless. So, just... sigh...

Still Here

2009-06-15T14:19:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I haven't really had much to say recently. Hopefully you will all forgive me. I'm still doing well, I just haven't had any inspiration to share with you. Hopefully that will change.

Random Musings

2009-06-03T17:29:00.002-06:00

I have noticed recently that I have been flying by the seat of my pants again. I wake up and decide what I'm going to eat that day instead of having a plan in place. That needs to stop. I picked up some new recipes to get me excited about eating healthy. I have noticed a few bloggers have been enamored with the Green Monster smoothies, so I think I will give those a go.

I have been negligent in my exercising habits recently. I have been doing the bare minimum, basically just me 5K training and that's just not enough for this carebear. I am going to pop in the EA Sports Wii Game and see if that gets me excited again.

Some good news is that I put on a pair of size 16 jeans today and they fit. I have some muffin top, but that is almost a given since I've always been top heavy. I'm very pleased that I am almost out of all my size 18 jeans. It excites me greatly.

I have signed up for Get Fit After 40's Summer Challenge. I think it's the boost I have been looking for. Knowing that I have to send my weight in every week will help keep me on track.

How is everyone else doing? I've been hearing some great success stories recently. It makes me smile to know that other people are achieving their goals.

Giveaway Winner

2009-06-01T13:07:00.003-06:00

Today I added everyone's names into random.org's list randomizer and it selected a winner for me. The winner of my book giveaway is

Deb!!!!!!!

from Shedding My FatSuit

Congratulations! I hope you enjoy the book as much as I am. Please e-mail me your mailing information to creatingnatashaAThotmailDOTcom so I can mail your book to you.

May Results and Progress Pictures

2009-05-29T13:54:00.002-06:00

Today was my last weigh-in of the month. I weighed in at 228.8, which means I am down 5.6 pounds for the month. I am very pleased with this loss considering the meltdown I had at the middle of May.

RESULTS:

Weight:

228.8 (-5.6)

May Measurements:

Chest: 50" (0)

Waist: 46.5" (-.5")

Hips: 50" (-1")

Thighs: 27" (-1")

Calves: 18" (0)

Upper Arm: 15" (0")

Lower Arm: 10" (0)

I also took some pictures so that I could see the difference a month makes. The pictures on the left are the ones I took today and the ones on the right is of me last month. I can definitely see some differences, so that pleases me greatly.

From the front:

From the side:

From the back:

My two biggest triumphs this month were: 1) taking steps to deal with my emotional eating and 2) sticking to my running challenge.

First, emotional eating. As most of you know I've been reading Shrink Yourself, which is a book about emotional eating. My task this week was to observe my behaviour and if I'm eating when I'm not hungry. I was to (if I could) stop, asses how I was feeling and identify the feeling. Yesterday I wanted to go to the farmer's market by my house and get some strawberries. It was going to be the highlight of my day and I had planned my whole schedule around going. But it doesn't start to next week. I was so disappointed. And what happened? I instantly told Maude (my inner critic who was screaming about how disappointed she was) that I would get her a cookie if she shut up. (Obviously I'm making this a little more descriptive than it was, but that's figuratively what happened). Instead of just feeling disappointed and getting over it I tried to medicate myself with a cookie. It was like a light bulb going off in my head. I hadn't checked to see if a cookie would fit into my plan - I just promised it to myself if I would stop feeling disappointed. Ugh. But at least I'm started to be able to see how I sabotage myself by not dealing with how I'm feeling. Booyah!

And running! Today... I jogged for 3 minutes non-stop!!! Last month I couldn't even jog for 30 seconds without getting winded. Wow. How kick ass is that? I can't even begin to express how proud I am of myself. It has definitely helped that other people have joined me and I get to read about their progress. I found it so encouraging and it kept me from giving up. I think I might have if I hadn't told anyone that I wanted to run. I'm grateful that I have such wonderful people in my life.

June Goals:

Weigh 220.8 by June 30th

Eat 4 servings of vegetables every day

Complete Week 7 of the C25k

Finish Shrink Yourself

That's it folks! Thanks for sticking with me through another month of ups and downs and personal growth.

I'll be making the draw for my giveaway on May 31st, so make sure to enter if you haven't already done so.

Have a fabulous weekend!!!!

More Thoughts on Emotional Eating

2009-05-27T14:41:00.003-06:00

I have to admit that I am really touched when people are moved by what I have to say. I was just reading a post over on The Weigh We Were (a great blog if you haven't checked it out yet) and I got all weepy reading how my post about emotional eating inspired her to think about her own emotional relationship with food. When I first started this blog I never thought any one but me would read it and now I feel like I'm part of this amazing community of incredible people that actually think that what I have to say has some merit. I no longer feel alone. What a phenomenal feeling. For all of you that read and comment on my blog, or share your posts with me about similar subject matter that you talk about on yours blogs I want to thank you for embracing me so openly. It feels bloody brilliant. I've definitely shed a few happy tears for each of you this afternoon.

Quick Hello and Giveaway Reminder

2009-05-27T14:14:00.003-06:00

I've managed to mess up my sleep again, so I'm taking today to fix it. However, staying up is making a little loopy, so this is going to be a quick post.

I just had to show you the beautiful flowers The Hottie (my hubby) got me yesterday - for no particular reason at all. Just because he's a total sweetheart! Awww... He's so precious.

And then, to reward myself for all the hard work I have been doing rebuilding my lost thesis research, I got a pedicure. I don't know how having pretty toes makes me feel all giddy inside, but it does. Plus, now I can wear all my cute sandals I've been collecting. Yay for warm weather!

Finally, for anyone that missed yesterday's post, I am giving away a copy of Robert Gould's Shrink Yourself: Breaking Free from Emotional Eating Forever! Details on how to enter can be found here.

I hope everyone is having a happy, healthy day. Do something nice for yourself today. That's an order!

Giveaway and Random Photos

2009-05-26T15:03:00.005-06:00

A few people have asked what book I'm reading. It's called Shrink Yourself: Break Free from Emotional Eating Forever! by Roger Gould, M.D..

You can read the introduction and various parts of chapters here. I have finished the first half of the book and I was really amazed at how it helped me understand the reasons why I eat. Would I recommend the book to others? Yes! Why? Because it has nothing to do with dieting. What it does it help you understand YOUR relationship with food and how to change it from a dysfunctional relationship to a healthy relationship. I have started the first week of exercises and I am really looking forward to breaking free from the strangehold Maude (my inner critique) has on me and breaking free from using food to comfort myself.

I actually believe in this book so much that I'm going to give one away to anyone that reads my blog. What do you have to do to win it? Just tell me you want it. You can leave me a comment, write me an e-mail, send me a facebook message . . . I don't care. You don't have to post anything on your own blog, follow me on twitter or anything like that. Just tell me you want it. And if you know someone that you think could benefit from it, tell them to tell me they want it and they will automatically be entered. I have just found so much strength from this book that I want to share it with as many other people as possible.

So, if you want the book let me know. I'll pick someone randomly at the end of the month and send it to that person.

I've decided that I need to add more pictures to my blog. K over at Skinny Me almost always includes photos in her posts and she's inspired me to add more to mine. So... here are some pictures.

I'm so happy that it's warm out today that I actually wore a skirt.

Here's my pork souvalaki that I made last night.

And another Hungry Girl dessert. Cool Whip, Peanut butter, chocolate pudding and chocolate chips. 78 calories of goodness. Mmm.

Running, How I Missed Thee

2009-05-25T14:46:00.004-06:00

It's amazing how most things in life are psychological. Four weeks ago I could barely run for 30 seconds and now I can run for 90 secs. Out of all my runs, today was the easiest. The time flew by and I know it's because I kept telling myself that I could do it. And I can. I'm learning to control my inner critic. The voice that tells me that I can't do things. That I'm too fat to run. That I won't finish anything I start. That I will give up and eat. That annoying voice inside of me that encourages my self-loathing. I've named her Maude. Well, Maude, I completed my run today. Take that!

I decided to repeat week 2 because I only got one of my runs in last week. No worries. I'll still be finished by the end of July. I'm really enjoying the interval podcasts that Andrea and Stormy suggested. They really keep me moving. If you are looking for the links to the podcasts you can find them here and here. I'm excited that People are using Stormy's spreadsheet to track their miles. I'm excited to see that I've almost run a total of 7 miles in the past few weeks. That's pretty rockin' in my opinion. I've been adding my miles as I go. I find that it feels really good to add my miles throughout the week instead of just the total at the end of the week. Makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something, which I am!

I'd like to hear how other people are doing with their running. Success, challenges, complaints (pain/rashes/annoying bouncing boobies/etc)... whatever is on your mind.

Emotional Eating

2009-05-25T11:19:00.002-06:00

Okay. Here's what happened. The past two months have been great. Then, a week and a half ago I collapsed. I binged. And not just for a day, but a whole weekend and then some. I felt so helpless and confused. But the pieces have started to come together.

I have discovered that I have probably lost over a hundred pounds in the past 4 years. However, I have not weighed under 200 pounds in the past four years, which means that I have been stuck in a rut of yo-yo dieting. I keep losing and gaining it back. Looking back over the past 4 years I have discovered a very distinct pattern. I am very successful for 1, 2, 3 maybe even 4 months. Then I will collapse and regain part if not all the weight. My longest 'good' stretch was about 8 months and then I would fall apart. Each time I would rededicate myself to my plan and redouble my efforts. But, I would repeat the pattern. Frustrating, right? I have known for a long time that I am an emotional eater. But it occurred to me that I really haven't done anything to fix it. I keep thinking that I have conquered it every time I am on a 'good' stretch of healthy living. But this past collapse has proven to me that I have not.

On the weekend I picked up a book on emotional eating and, although I have only read half of it, I know that this is the missing piece that I have been looking for. Long ago I developed a pattern of eating to avoid dealing with emotions. Therefore, regardless of what plan I come up with, until I deal with my emotions I will not be successful in maintaining the healthy lifestyle I so richly deserve.

So, I'm happy to say that I'm now learning how discovering why I eat is just as important as developing a plan for what I eat. I feel liberating even though I know that I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. I will probably share some of the reasons I eat in the future when I get a better grasp on them.

I want to thank everyone for the encouraging comments/e-mails I received. I have a tendency to hermit when things are going right in my life and that is something I need to change. Thanks for sticking in there with me. It really does mean a lot.

Still here...Finding my way back

2009-05-24T01:55:00.001-06:00

I'm sorry I've been MIA. I've been dealing with some emotional stress and then I became sick. I'm still here and have been mulling things over. Expect to hear more soon, but don't worry - I'm not missing; just a little lost.

Running, Eating and other Random Tidbits

2009-05-15T14:19:00.006-06:00

I'm sorry that I've been MIA the past couple of days. I lost a bunch of my thesis work in what I'm calling The Great Backup Fiasco of 2009 and I've been a little grumpy about the whole thing.

My second run went really well. I've discovered that the third interval is the hardest for me (for whatever reason) and I'm feeling a lot more comfortable with the running. I did some research on stretching because my legs have been killing me after my run. I found two stretches that are supposed to be really good for running. The first is a butt and hamstring stretch (I didn't name them):

And the second is a calf stretch:
The calf stretch has fixed most of my leg problems, so I'm a big fan of it. I'm also going to buy some new running shows today or tomorrow. I want someone experienced to figure out what kind of support I need since I'm so new to this.

In my last post I mentioned that I was having trouble figuring out how many km/miles I covered on my run. Andrea from a cake for a wife suggested that I try Map My Run at www.mapmyrun.com and it worked out great. Thanks Andrea!

In other news, I find that I have trouble doing both exercising regularly and eating appropriately at the same time. I seem to be only doing one or the other. When I focus on exercising I find that I don't eat enough veggies or essential oils. When I focus on my eating my exercise regime gets slack. Now, I understand that I don't need to be perfect in either catergory, but I'd like to be able to be able to do both at an 80% level. Do you have any advice? Are any of you struggling with this issue?

In final news, I made the carrot cupcakes from the Hungry Girl cookbbok and they turned out amazingly. They are a wonderful 2 point snack that I can't get enough of. Mmm!

My First Run

2009-05-12T14:09:00.003-06:00

I know I said I was going to do my first run yesterday, but my calves hurt so much from kickboxing on Sunday I could barely walk. So, I switched it to today. It wasn't the most wonderful day in general because of the dark clouds and wind, but it was perfect for my needs. I put on my jogging outfit, taped my breasts down, grabbed my ipod and headed out the door. I hadn't plotted a course, so I just started walking in one direction and figured I would find my way back eventually. I had put my C25K mp3 mix on my ipod and started jogging one I heard the beeping. I liked it much better than using a timer because I don't have to look at something constantly and I know that I just have to keep going until I hear the beeping. Worked like a charm. The first 2 intervals went well. I was feeling pretty good about myself. The 3rd, 4th and 5th interval were a lot harder and I found myself struggling a bit. The 6th interval was brutal, but the last 3 were much better. Most importantly, I did it! I completed the whole thing. Woo. I estimated that I did 2.7 km/1.6 miles (thanks for google maps). I think I'll plot out a course that I know the exact distance of for Thursday and see how that goes. I'm more concerned about just jogging for the set time rather than how far I'm going. I have to say that I'm quite pleased with myself.

In other news, Stormy over at Wonder Woman created this FABULOUS spreadsheet for us. The spreadsheet can be found at http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=rCO3aqgF7NQcIM52gEj-Mog&hl=en. I encourage everyone participating to go there an add your name, your miles ran and your starting weight. It's such a great idea because it will allow us to chart our progress as we go. Very exciting! I'm actually giddy about it. So, thank you Stormy!

What a fantastic day!

Join, join, join!

2009-05-11T19:43:00.006-06:00

I'm happy to announce that Wonder Woman, Ex Hot Girl, Operation Size 8, Emily Online and Hotch Potchery are going to be running with us! This is really fantastic. I'm trying to think of a way to share our collective experience and I was thinking of posting a weekly recap of my experience for the week so that everyone would have a forum to share how their week went as well. But I also welcome any comments about your running on anything that I post. I'm open to ideas, so if you think of something better I would love to hear about it. Also, Andrea mentioned that there are mp3s for couch-to-5k at http://www.ullreys.com/robert/Podcasts/, which I checked out and was quite pleased with. The more options the better, right? Thanks Andrea!

I'm going to end with a bit of a rant, so if you're not in the mood for a rant stop reading.

I was googling something and came across an article about Kirstie Alley's never-ending battle with weight along with this picture of her on the cover of People:

You can read the article here, but I just wanted to vent about a few things that bothered me about this article. Anyone that reads my blog on a regular basis knows that I have a particular view on health. I believe that what you weight is only half the story. Anyone can be thin depending on the radical actions we take, but I don't equate being thin with being healthy. So, naturally, I was disturbed by some of the messages expressed by this article.

First quote from the article that disturbed me:

When Kirstie Alley stepped on the scale for the first time in 15 months, it wasn't pretty. "I started screaming," recalls Alley, sipping homemade fruit-infused water in her Hollywood kitchen. "It said 228 lbs., which is my highest weight ever. I was so much more disgusting than I thought!"

"I was so much more disgusting than I thought." I can't stand this message that the number on the scale has so much meaning behind it. Somehow being 228 (which is 2 pounds more than I weigh currently) makes her more disgusting than she previously thought. So what does that make me? I don't think I'm disgusting, but if 228 is disgusting... Why are we so obsessed with the number on the scale? When did that become the only thing we care about? Rawr.

Second thing that disturbed me:

Today, Alley says she is primed to hire a trainer, toss the butter and sign up for a triathlon in order to whittle her "schlumpy" figure back down to a bikini-ready 140 lbs.

This isn't so bad in and of itself until you consider that Kirstie Alley is 58 years old. Why are women continually pressured to look like they did in their 20s? Why do we think that's possible? Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to want to look your best, but I think there is something wrong when 60-year-old women think that they need to force their bodies into a bikini? Why can she aim to look good in a one piece? Is dressing your age the end of the world?

Finally at the end of the article:

Does Kirstie's will to lose inspire you? Share your comments here [with a link to the comments section].

Her will to lose is disturbing. In the article she talks about her goal weight being 128, which she even admits is too low. She talks about how the only reason she maintained the weight was because she was a spokesperson for Jenny Craig and part of her contract is being at a certain weight. Her will to lose is what I think is wrong with most people in their struggle with their own body. You know what would inspire me, Kirstie Alley? You making peace with your body. Instead of going on Oprah in a bikini I would love to see you find a weight you're comfortable at and then stop focusing on weight all together. Just focus on being happy and healthy. Be more active, eat real food and just be you.

My darling hubby pointed out that this is more about publicity than anything else, which I understand, but I want to send the message that it's not okay for this overarching message that women should be in a constant battle with their weight and that eternal youth is possible. We can't wear bikinis forever, so stop trying to pretend that we can.

More Running Challenge Details

2009-05-10T17:24:00.003-06:00

Tiffany had asked when the first day of the challenge was, so I thought I'd go over some of the details again.

Couch to 5K is designed to fit into your schedule, which is why I wanted to do it in the first place. You pick whatever 3 days you want to do your workouts on and go from there. I'm choosing Monday, Wednesday and Friday but you can choose whatever works for you. It suggests you rest in between days, and I think that's a good idea.

So, my first week will look like the following:

Monday/Day 1:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Wednesday/Day 2:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Friday/Day 3:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

You can find the whole plan here if you're curious.

Another cool thing I came across (thanks to Stormy) is an mp3 that tells you when to start and stop running. It has a different mix for every week. Pretty neat! I'm going to give it a go tomorrow. Beats running with my timer. :) You can check it out at Podrunner. It's free and it was easy to load onto my ipod.

So far my running buddies are going to be The Weigh We Were, A Cake for a Wife, Skinny Me and 12 to 6. Anyone I missed let me know. Anyone is still welcome to join.

I'm so excited!

My First Blog Award!

2009-05-09T23:26:00.004-06:00

I can't express how excited I am that Julie nominated me for a blog award. I feel so gosh darn special!

And now I get the pleasure of nominating 5 blogs that I think are super. Click on the titles to check out their blogs. And now, in no particular order:

Skinny Me: I love this blog. K has a great sense of humour, pulls no punches and speaks her mind.

A Cake for a Wife: Andrea cracks me up. She has a wicked sense of humour and biting wit. Plus, she knits. She's just awesome.

Losing a Bit of Me: One of my most vocal followers. I love that she's not afraid to leave me comments. On top of that, she has a great blog (or a super one in this case) that makes me smile on a regular basis.

Operation Size 8: Sarah is just a bundle of energy. I love her enthusiasm for life.

Journey to Goal: Laura's blog is so insightful. I love her approach to weight loss and life in general.

There are so many more, but I could only pick 5.

What is it Worth?

2009-05-08T15:47:00.003-06:00

Last night I had a little bit of a chocolate binge. I ate 8 pieces of chocolate. Now, I know what you're thinking: "What? That's what you call a binge? Shut up." I know. It's not the end of the world, but I have been so good recently; only eating when I'm hungry and so on. But last night something clicked in my head and I couldn't stop eating. I wasn't even hungry! I stayed within my point range except for the 8 pieces of chocolate. I classify anything that I eat when I'm not hungry as bingeing (you can disagree if you want. I'm actually curious what you think about that classification).

I'm not of the mindset that I'll 'make up for it' by only eating salad today because I know that will only lead to more bingeing. I worked it out and the chocolate was worth 230 calories, so I decided to exercise it off. Can't be that hard, right? Well, to burn 230 calories I did 30 min, or 10 km on my stationary bike. It took me 2 min to eat it and 30 to burn it off. Yikes! DEFINITELY not worth it. I'll keep this experience in mind the next time I hear something calling my name when I'm: a) not hungry and b) haven't factored it into my plan already.

Running Challenge Details

2009-05-08T09:54:00.000-06:00

A few people have been asking details about the running challenge, so I thought I would give a breakdown of how the challenge would play out. Each week consists of 3 workouts to be completed on whatever days you see fit.

Week 1 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Week 2 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 90 seconds of jogging and two minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Week 3 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then do two repetitions of the following:

Jog 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
Walk 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
Jog 400 yards (or 3 minutes)
Walk 400 yards (or three minutes)
Week 4 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

Week 5

Workout 1

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

Workout 2

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)

Workout 3

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog two miles (or 20 minutes) with no walking.

Week 6

Workout 1

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

Workout 2

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

Jog 1 mile (or 10 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Jog 1 mile (or 10 minutes)

Workout 3

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog 2-1/4 miles (or 25 minutes) with no walking.

Week 7 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog 2.5 miles (or 25 minutes).

Week 8 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog 2.75 miles (or 28 minutes).

Week 9 (x3)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog 3 miles (or 30 minutes).

Keeping Myself Accountable

2009-05-07T19:31:00.002-06:00

I've been doing really well the pat couple of weeks, but I've noticed that I'm starting to take bites of things here and there and not counting them. Not good! Sooner than later that's going to catch up to me, so I'm going to nip it in the bud right now. I'm going to redouble my efforts behind taking a picture of everything that I eat. I've made it really simple using my cell phone to take the photos, since my cell phone is almost always with me. The problem is just remembering. I think I'll just put a post it note on my bathroom mirror to remind myself.

I'm very excited that three people have chosen to train for the 5K with me. I'm very excited! I'm going to shop for some new running shoes this weekend. I'm very excited about this challenge! I even made a 'poster'.

I'm going to post the first week's running plan on Sunday so that people can fit it into their schedule however they choose the following week. I am ecstatic that in 10 weeks I'll be able to run 5K! Me!

If you still want to get in on the challenge, let me know!

Running Challenge

2009-05-05T21:13:00.000-06:00

So, I'm thinking of doing a running challenge and was wondering if anyone was interested in joining me. I'm thinking of training to run 5 km/3 miles in 10 weeks. Each week would consist of 3 workouts that would take 20-30 min, so it would be simple to fit into most people's schedule.

A sample workout would look like this:

First Week:

Start with a brisk 5-min walk. Run for 60 seconds and then walk for 90 seconds. Repeat 6 times for a total of 20 min.

What do you think? I'm going to do this regardless, but I was interested if other people were looking for a summer challenge. Just think: by the end of July you and I could be running a 5K.

You can leave a comment or e-mail me at creatingnatashaAThotmailDOTcom if you have any ideas/suggestions.

Finding Motivation

2009-05-05T00:06:00.001-06:00

What motivates you?

I stumbled across an article, "5 Women Share their Motivation Tips." I thought some of their suggestions were really great. You can read the article here, if you want.

One of the suggestions was to find a friend or a group of people. I've heard this many times before, but I've never actually experienced until recently. The hubby and I have been doing kickboxing together for 3 weeks, and I can honestly say that I don't think that I would have done it if he wasn't doing it with me. It's way less scary if you know someone in your class/on your team.

Another story I found inspiring was about a woman who completed a 100-mile bike ride in September. What really caught my eye was the fact that she was really forthcoming with the fact that cycling didn't come naturally to her and that she didn't start out riding 100 miles. She just did a little more and worked a little harder everyday. I can do that.

There's more, and you can read it yourself, but it got me thinking about what motivates me to work out.

1. Cute clothes. When I feel that I look great I feel better about the activity I'm doing.

2. Music. Music pumps me up and gets me excited.

3. Past Results. If I need motivation I look at my starting and current weight. I'm almost 30 pounds lighter than when I first started and that really gets me in the mood to work out.

4. The high. No, no, not drug kind of high. Lots of people describe a runner's high, but I most exercise makes me feel amazing afterwards. Even if I dead tired and there's a pizza-sized sweat stain on the back of my shirt I feel pretty great.

Those are some of the things that motivate me to work out. What about you?

What Will Your Transformation Look Like?

2009-05-03T23:03:00.004-06:00

Although I'm not a huge fan of The Biggest Loser I have to admit that a guilty pleasure of mine is going to look through the before and after pictures of the contestants. I'm a visual person and it's motivating to see the changes that can happen. I really like the ones where the people look healthier, not just thinner. Their eyes are more vibrant, their skin glows and they look fit and strong. That's a big thing for me. It's not about getting thin. Getting thin is not really the issue for me (although fitting into 'normal' sized clothing is a dream of mine). What I want to be is healthy. I want to be fit, active and healthy.

I made myself a little inspiration picture for myself in photoshop of what I would look like as Healthy Natasha. And, I have to admit, that I was pretty excited to see it. I think it's therapeutic to know what you're working towards. Some people have pictures of themselves that they would like to resemble again, but I don't have anything like that. I've always been overweight/obese, so it's been a little harder for me to visualize what I will look like as Healthy Natasha.

But my transformation will be more than that. My transformation will not only be about weight, but how I think about myself and how I treat my body. And that is something that I'm truly excited for.

What are you looking forward to with your transformation?

Sunday Musings

2009-05-03T15:48:00.002-06:00

What does the term 'healthy' mean to you?

When I was younger it seemed a lot simpler. There were 'good' and 'bad' foods (I use these terms loosely because I don't think food is a moral issue). I saw fast food and 'bad' food as happy things and 'good' food as boring and unappetizing.

But I've noticed that things have gotten a lot more complicated in terms of 'good' and 'bad' foods. When I see Froot Loops and Kraft Dinner advertising 'Good Source of Calcium' (yeah, because of the milk you put in it), it leaves me pondering. How do we determine what's healthy and what's not? I recently read the frequently asked questions section of Holey Donuts (a new 'low fat' donut) and was somewhat disturbed when it promoted their donuts as "healthy". Sure, they have half the fat of normal donuts, but healthy? Healthier, maybe. But 'healthy'?

So, what then does 'healthy' mean? Do we even know anymore? For the longest time I was told that fat was bad. Now some fat is okay, unless it's trans fat or saturated fat. Then it was that carbs were bad, and now some carbs are good (hello whole wheat). Then it was organic and 'natural'. But, you have to be careful, they say. Not all organic and natural is good for you. Makes me want to tear my hair out.

I think what I've realized in the past couple of years is that I have to be really critical of what I'm being told. But who do I trust? Where do I go to get real information that hasn't been skewed by advertising. Until I figure it out I think I'll just stick to my good old food pyramid.

The Power of the Positive Part Two

2009-05-01T17:48:00.004-06:00

I got some wonderful feedback from people about the post I wrote yesterday. I wanted to share some of the comments people left because I thought they were great and needed to be shared.

"You have to accept your body. The body you have before you can move forward."
Lola

That is so incredibly true. You can't wait to love yourself in the future. In order to reach your goals you have to love yourself in the present. Accept who you are right now, because you're depending on your present body to get to where you want your body to be in the future.

"I think it is very important that when we are trying, I mean, ARE losing weight that we do not beat up on ourselves because we have all been there and done that. Staying in the now means that if I messed up yesterday, I need to get it back together today because it is a new day and I have the power to change and continue on my journey. "
Just Me

I love that! "I have the power to change and continue on my journey." I think we need to separate behaviour and personality. When we DO something we didn't want to do (i.e. eat a bag of chips) we need to change the behaviour that led us to eating chips (not eating enough all day, skipping meals, not eating before/after we work out, etc) and not tell ourselves that it is US that has failed. We as people haven't failed, our behaviour is just incorrect.

"Positive thinking always help in whatever you are doing, whatever goal you have."
Laura

I like this comment because life isn't just about getting healthier. Positive thinking can help me in all areas of my life. I know that if I think I can, or I think I can't, I'm right. Positive thinking is just good all around.

What did you do today to be nice to yourself? How did you support yourself today?